Seek balance, not fights

All of our anger is being directed at Representative Akin, but he is not the heart of the problem.  He just spoke the problem out loud; therefore he is taking the big fall.

He is one of many who are misinformed, one of many who believe that they know what is best for women, one of many who want to direct and tell instead of listen and understand.

Instead of directing our anger at one man, can we look at ourselves?  Can we see where we are misinformed and where we are directing and telling instead of listening and understanding?

Can we see how we assume we know what is best for other people when we actually know nothing of their experience and their life?

And most important, can we, as women, begin to speak up for what we believe, what we need, and what is true for us?

Reproductive freedom is just a piece of this issue, there are so many other places where we are allowing others to direct our actions and thinking.

It’s not about fighting against men or anybody else for that matter; it’s about working alongside men and everybody else.  Fighting will cause more fights.  Listening and understanding can create peace.

This world desperately needs more female voices, female leaders, and overall female energy.  At the same time we need to honor the male energy; we need to value the importance of working together.

Simply put, we are way out of balance and it’s time to come together to rediscover the balance that’s been missing for so long – it’s time to think as a whole instead of separate parts.

I know so many great men - men who love, honor, and see women – their daughters, their granddaughters, their wives, their moms, their sisters, their aunts, their friends.

These men are out there and they have our back, they are supporting us because they know our power, they know what we have to offer, they know the whole world benefits when we are heard.

Let’s focus our energy on these men and work together.  Let’s seek balance instead of fights.

And even more important, let’s take responsibility for when we didn’t speak up or say our truth.  Let’s take responsibility for following along instead of being authentically ourselves.  Let’s make a choice to say what we believe and offer what we came here to give.

It’s not about one person; it’s about all of us.  And we all have the power to make a change - so let’s use it.


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    Cathy Cassani Adams

    Cathy Cassani Adams is a self-awareness teacher who supports parents in uncovering their authentic selves and inner joy so they can raise their children in a calm, loving, and supportive environment. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a PCI Certified Parent Coach®, a Certified Elementary School Teacher and a Certified Yoga Teacher. Cathy is the author of two books, The Self-Aware Parent and The Self-Aware Parent Two, she co-hosts Zen Parenting Radio with her husband Todd, and she teaches in the Sociology Department at Dominican University. As a self-actualizing woman she is constantly growing, and as a mother of three little girls she is constantly learning. Find Cathy at or

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