Letter to myself at 22

This was probably one of my most difficult years – I was on my own for the first time, I was broke, I had no idea what I wanted to do, and although I was surrounded by wonderful friends, I felt very alone and vulnerable.

In this month’s Oprah magazine, Oprah and other celebs wrote a letter to their younger selves, offering love and guidance for what is to come.  I felt inspired to do the same.

22

Cathy,

Don’t be so afraid.  You are OK, and you will be OK.  Your 20’s are all about being confused and changing your mind – can you find the fun in it?

But don’t worry - you are absolutely moving in the right direction.  You made the right choice to move to Chicago.  You need to be on your own so you can grow up and learn to take care of yourself.  Just keep moving toward what “feels” right - even when others tell you to do otherwise.

Just stay yourself, you don’t need to change.  If you want to go home from the bar, go home.  If you want to reach out to a friend that hurt you, do it.  If you want to try a new style, have fun with it.  Just be you, baby.

Keep reading those books you hide under your bed.  Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer and all the others will always be your teachers. It’s so great how you come alive when you read their books – such a gift at such an early age!

Remember when you were listening to Wayne’s tapes and you knew in your heart you wanted to teach love and inner awareness?  Well don’t worry, you’ll get there.

And that boy you love right now, it was the right decision to let him go.  He’s not a jerk.  He was honest with you and he cares about you enough to tell you the truth – he is too young and unsure to make any kind of commitment, and he needs to go experience the world.

You need to experience the world, too.  You will live alone, but you will never be alone.  You will have pain and loss, but your friends and family will always help you get back on your feet.  You will begin to let go of old stories and past mistakes and realize that even though you often feel weak, you are very strong and wise.

And in 5 years or so, that boy you love will come back older.  He will thank you for walking away when he was unsure.  He will ask you to marry him and you will have three little girls.

You will know for sure that patience, love, and trust are real.

And as you continue on, you will rediscover this over and over again.

Enjoy the ride lovey,

Cathy, age 40

 

Comments

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  • this is so great. i'm so glad you walked away too, cause had you not, you may not be in my life today. :) i'ma give this a try here...

    Dear 22 year-old Shayne,
    Girl? you're a hot mess. but don't worry, when you're 26, you'll trust your gut and you will get your life back by letting go of something that doesn't work for you. this will be a life-changer. in the meantime, just hold on for 4 more years! and please please please don't drive drunk. and i guess have as much fun as you can, but try to consider others as you self-destruct. (if that's possible) remember, you're a very talented, smart, and insightful young woman. don't ever let that go. keep up with all your hobbies and passions because there will continue to be struggles financially and emotionally, however things will really turn around when you're 37. just wait and see! it's like beyond what you could have even imagined! also, most importantly, keep laughing. and don't EVER hold back from telling the truth, even when it's scary.

    xo,
    37 yr-old Shayne.

  • In reply to shayne:

    thanks for sharing Shayne, I love you!

  • fb_avatar

    Thank you for detaching with love 18 years ago. so glad you did. otherwise, i wouldn't be where i am now.

  • In reply to Todd Adams:

    xoxo

  • And trust that all of the moments -- silly and serious -- with those equally scared 22-year-old roommates -- have deep and lasting importance. You will continue to play an invaluable role to the friends who cherish your open ear and understanding heart. No matter the decade or the dilemma of the day, these relationships built during such vulnerable times will help you all get through. A lot of stuff. More than you can even imagine right now. But it will all unfold just as it is supposed to, and the strength of friendship will help keep you on that course staying true to you.....keep rocking the jukebox.

  • I will keep rocking the jukebox, even though I no longer understand how to work it (when did it get so complicated???). Thanks for being my forever roommate and friend. xoxox

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    Cathy Cassani Adams

    Cathy Cassani Adams is a self-awareness teacher who supports parents in uncovering their authentic selves and inner joy so they can raise their children in a calm, loving, and supportive environment. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a PCI Certified Parent Coach®, a Certified Elementary School Teacher and a Certified Yoga Teacher. Cathy is the author of two books, The Self-Aware Parent and The Self-Aware Parent Two, she co-hosts Zen Parenting Radio with her husband Todd, and she teaches in the Sociology Department at Dominican University. As a self-actualizing woman she is constantly growing, and as a mother of three little girls she is constantly learning. Find Cathy at www.cathycadams.com or www.zenparentingradio.com

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