2015 Awards of the Year (Revised)

Apparently some people were upset that Serena Williams, and not a horse, won Sports Illustrated's Sportsperson of the Year award.  While American Pharoah and its stupid spelling had an amazing Triple Crown year, the fact is he is not actually a sportsperson, or any sort of person, not even a horseperson, which I think is actually called a centaur.

But in the spirit that American Pharoah could even be considered for the award, I have notified the various academies of which I am a member and have changed my votes for our various annual awards. Apparently my changed vote has caused the outcomes of the awards to be revised as follows:

  • National League Rookie of the Year:  Bartolo Colon. In just his 18th rookie campaign, Colon won 14 games and helped lead the Mets to the World Series.
  • Motor Trend Car of the Year:  Uptown Bus #7516. Always dependable, always on time, always clean.
  • Eclipse Horse of the Year Award: The Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa.
  • Best Actor in a Leading Role: Donald Trump
  • Grammy of the Year:  Nana
  • Miss America: Benedict Cumberbatch
  • Tony Award:  Tony Randall, as always
  • NBA Sixth Man:  Og, literally the 6th man.
  • NFL Twelfth Man Award:  Og, Jr., Og's son, and literally the 12th man.
  • Nobel Peace Prize: American Pharoah
  • Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year: emoji

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