Why does "30 have to be the new 20?"

You hear this all the time. "40 is the new 30!" "30 is the new 20!" "20 is the new 10!" (Okay, I really hope that last one is never uttered because I don't want to see some 10 year old up in the U of I bars drinking Vodka Water Limes then sitting on a curb eating Bonnie Jean's pizza.) Sorry, where was I going with this?

Anyways, people seem to always "downgrade" my age whenever I say I feel a little "behind". Even though I have a job I love and live in a place I love, the whole lack of relationship/family thing still stings. My parents have been married 37 years and are still as happy as the day they met. Many of my friends and family are engaged or married to wonderful people- a few even have beautiful families.

Is this why it stings?

Why does age have to matter when we hit these life events with relationships and families? I am getting a little sick of the "Oh, you'll find someone someday, don't worry! 30 is the new 20!" as if there is an expiration date on it and 20 year olds "still have that shot!" at finding that "special someone". I know people who have gotten married in their 40's who are happy as can be. I also know parents who are in their 40's who have absolutely no regrets of having their kids a bit later in life.

So, why is everyone so obsessed with age (admittedly, myself)? Can't things fall into place when they are supposed to? Maybe right now my place isn't to be a mother, considering I lose my keys on a daily basis and can't care for a cactus. This isn't to say that in five years that might not be the case. Maybe my place right now is to focus on my career and eat a lot of carry out Thai food. Can't this just be "my" 30? (Cough, 31)

For example, I know some moms in their very young 20's who are absolutely excellent parents and are more responsible than many 50 year olds I know. I also know some 40 year olds who act like they are 16 year olds needing an X-Box to occupy them. See, it seems arbitrary to me.

Whose place is it to judge these "milestones"? Why can't it just be "I'm living my life, things are meant to happen when they are going to happen?" I've never once said to someone a comment regarding a personal issue and age. It's none of my business.

So, if society wants to tell me 30 is the new 20, fine. When are we going to Kam's, then?

Leave a comment

  • ChicagoNow is full of win

    Welcome to ChicagoNow.

    Meet our bloggers,
    post comments, or
    pitch your blog idea.

  • Advertisement:
  • Meet The Blogger

    Amy Litterski DeSario

    Born and bred Chicagoan. 30-something. Married to this guy I met 14 years ago at a Northwest side block party. Have a dog. Never thought those words would be in a description about me. University of Illinois alum. I've loved to write since age 4. I enjoy coffee and hot sauce too much. You can reach me at scribblingofthoughts@gmail.com.

  • Recent posts

  • Tags

  • Monthly Archives

  • Advertisement:
  • Fresh Chicago News