So, for any of you that are my Facebook friends, you may have seen a picture I posted last week that looked a little something like this: (I was struggling to carry a huge basket of groceries, nearly falling out, my arm about to be severed from the weight of the basket, and the woman in front of me does this):
Oh, no extra room there at all! Give those berries some room to BREATHE!
Amazingly enough, my cousin, today, sends me nearly an identical picture looking like this:
Do people not have common sense or decency anymore enough so to see someone struggling and almost falling over (my cousin was balancing a watermelon, circus style, on her knee) to have an extra 24 centimeters to keep her cherry tomatoes safe?
Fail. Respect the belt.
Here are some other etiquette fails I’ve witnessed as of late:
The “Hey I completely see you coming, you looked me in the eye, actually kinda smirked, then furiously hit “close door” on the elevator so I couldn’t get in”. Yep, I am sure that 27 seconds earlier you got to your cubicle got you that promotion.
The “Hey, I am a cab driver, so that means I follow absolutely no rules of the road!” I swear, my demise will not be by some life threatening disease, gunshot (well actually, maybe in Chicago, it will be), the bubonic plague- no- I will get mowed down by a cab driver in front of the Thompson center. It does not matter what signal you have- a cab driver will take you out if you are in the way in any shape or form. (Sidenote: this also applies to bicycle riders. You want to be on the road? Follow that nifty book they hand you at the DMV as you wait for your driving test results.)
The “I’m not sure what I want in line but no, I won’t be kind and tell you to pass me” We all know lunch in the Loop is a like a combat sport. It looks like a bunch of horses at a trough desperate for feed at any chain you go to. However, if there are 98 angry luncheon-ers behind you in line, and you cannot choose between that life-altering decision of a steak or chicken wrap, you kindly let those behind you pass. (Sidenote: These are the same people you see sneeze then stick their hand in the free sample bread bowl at Cosi.)
The “I will sit on my smartphone texting, angry bird-ing candy-crushing, tweeting, etc. while I am trying to hold a conversation with you.” Ever been at lunch with someone and you’re trying to tell them something important and you keep getting back “Mhm! Mhm! Oh sure, mhm.” Try throwing in “Yeah, I heard you went to the doctor for that STD test and it came back positive, how’d that go?” Maybe they’ll look up.
The “please control your dog” idea. Look- I love, love dogs. I also love, love to breathe. My asthma and allergies are like that of a sickly preschooler. Most days I look like Snoop Dogg leaving a party because my eyes are red and bleary. (“Fun night Amy?” “Oh yeah, Lean Cuisine and re-runs of Law and Order.”) So, I know your dog is adorable. I really think it is. However, some breeds jumping all over me in my elevator may turn me into a giant wheezing hive. Please respect that not all people can be close to some types of dogs.
And, last but not least, Facebook etiquette. I like hearing about people’s accomplishments, people’s funny stories, people’s pictures- but I am sorry, there are some things that are just “overshares”. I do NOT need to hear about your child’s bowel habits. “Charlie went poopy in the potty today! And it was a big one! LOL” (actual phrase I saw the other day, name changed.) I am glad Charlie seems to be taking his probiotics and now will save you money on diapers.
Maybe like my darling, encouraging commenter last week said, “I am a truly miserable person!” Nope, not miserable, just want people to act with a smidge of respect toward one another. Maybe I wouldn’t be so miserable then.