“Mean Girls” was a movie- it shouldn’t be a lifestyle.

So, yeah, I am 31. (Love reminding myself of this fact every day. However, I am alive and healthy, so never mind.) Anyways, sorry for digressing. My point is, we are adults, ladies. Why do we still find it necessary to back stab, gossip, bad mouth each other on a regular basis? I really don’t understand.

Have I been guilty of gossiping about a friend? Sure. I’m not making myself out to be some saint here. However, with the new “social media and the technologies” (sounding like my older relatives there) it is easier than ever to bash someone. Even worse, this is now publicly. Not just the old school “pass a note”.

Unless you have stolen someone’s significant other, kicked their dog, shaved off an eyebrow while they were sleeping (by the way, really witnessed this in a frat house circa 2003. Future leaders of U S and A!) or, well, you get the point, what is with the pettiness? This is seriously like 6th grade gym class and not getting picked by the popular girl’s team for kickball.

I get it- we are not all going to be BESTIES! (Even though my inner little optimist likes that idea. Shockingly, yeah, I’m an optimist.) But, have some respect. Some women are impressive, smart career driven women. Some women are amazing stay at home moms taking care of three children. Some extraordinarily smart women are unfairly unemployed looking for jobs.  Some women are still figuring themselves out and don’t know what the hell is going on (ahem, like yours truly). Some women are married to rich dudes and don’t have to worry about money. Some women are single mothers who have to balance work and raising children, which is a ridiculously hard task (seeing from a good friend who does so).

Point is- who are any of us to judge the other? EVERYONE has struggles. EVERYONE. While they might be different in nature, a struggle is a struggle. The married woman who has money may feel lonely because rich dude works 80 hours a week. The career driven woman is probably stressed as hell because she has 4 deadlines to work on. The mom raising three kids, well, I can’t even start, as my mom has told me that I was similar to raising four children, and I am an only.  (This may also just be because I am a crazy handful. But no, I feel for the moms, being serious.) The lost and misguided 20-30 something often feels depressed and like there may not be any career options even though they worked their arse off at a great university and have been searching for months. The woman supporting her significant other who is dealing with a chronic disease has to deal with watching that person suffer and feels pain doing so.

And how do we know that any of these women, regardless of categories mentioned, don’t have struggles we aren’t aware of? Cancer, taking care of a family member with a chronic illness, their OWN other illnesses, debt, dealing with custody battles, living from paycheck to paycheck? Why rub salt in a wound when we should be supportive?

So, really, can we lay off each other and try to get along? I am sick of this disrespect. In a world with so much anger and hate going on today, it’d be nice if we could try to get over this stuff and respect everyone’s chosen life path and try to understand what they are going through. As my one friend’s dad used to say, “It’s nice to be nice.” And I think us women need to remember that.

Filed under: women

Tags: bullying, friends, gossip


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