17 Things I'll Never Do.

17 things I’ll never do.

So, I have been doing a lot of thinking about life lately, and many random things come to mind. (Wait- this is new? Me thinking of random things? What’s the shiny thing over there?) But, I overheard someone on the CTA, on my favorite Red Line, discussing with her friend “things she’d never do in her life”. Therefore, here is my list, from the trite to the serious.

1)   Smoke again. (God willing. If anyone ever sees me with a cigarette, please give me a roundhouse kick to the face like Ryu in StreetFighter 2 from the 90’s.)

2)   Be a country music fan. Sorry. I just do. Not. Like. It.

3)   Eat at the Olive Garden by choice.

4)   Ditch a friend during a difficult time in their life even if they are hard to handle at that point.

5)   Go to bed angry with people I love. (I am working on this, admittedly.)

6)   Go tanning in a tanning bed ever again. I mean, I know I have a really awesome naturally bronzed complexion (and by this, I mean that I am about as pasty as Elmer’s Glue) but watch someone have Melanoma. I’ll take the paste.

7)   Live in a small town. I’d go bonkers. I would need the largest cable package possible that probably would cost $600 a month to stay entertained. And I’d probably start watching “Honey Boo Boo”.

8)   Be a Duke fan. Sorry, Mom, I know Coach K is from the “old neighborhood”, but they have possibly the most annoying fan base in the country. Let’s include Packers while we are at it here.

9)   Judge anyone because of their religious beliefs or sexual orientation. People are people. In this case, ignorance is NOT bliss.

10) Watch Dancing With the Stars.

11)  Be embarrassed for having Taco Bell being one of my favorite restaurants. Yeah, let’s call the hypocrite card for me hating on Olive Garden. Have you ever had two Taco Supremes after a few…beverages? Come find me after you have. Then let me know your opinion. Or a lopsided Mexican Pizza. (Any other T-Bell fans know exactly what I am talking about.)

12)  Support any sort of propaganda that encourages bullying.

13)  Live without a computer. (Come on fellow bloggers, you know this is a guilty truth.)

14)  Ride the 151 bus at 7:30am. I’d rather walk through a blizzard than be shoved under my new best friend’s armpit.

15)  Be really organized. Sorry, but this is true. My apartment will always look slightly like a frat house living room. I try, but somehow it just…happens. As I stare at unfolded laundry while writing this. (Again, sorry Mom.)

16)  Have any sort of dog that resembles a sheepdog, etc. Not because I hate animals (I actually really love them) but if you want me to keep breathing and not have hives, this is a good decision.

17)  Live without writing. Awwww.

Again, this list is neither comprehensive nor totally serious. But hey, I “scribble thoughts”, so would you expect anything less than a bunch of random ideas?

Happy almost weekend. What are some things you’d never do? I’d love to know. We can go to T-Bell and discuss.

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    Amy Litterski

    Born and bred Chicagoan. 30-something. Married to this guy I met 14 years ago at a Northwest side block party. Have a dog. Never thought those words would be in a description about me. University of Illinois alum. I've loved to write since age 4. I have some samples, they are pretty impressive, I promise. I enjoy coffee and hot sauce too much.

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