Cranky Christmas in Chicago

Ok, it’s the holiday season. Yay, a time of joy and wonder and whatever. The irony is, this season I probably am a bit happier personally than I have been in the last few years, but there are still a lot of things about the holiday season that make this chick a little unpleasant.

1)   Incessant Christmas music. Sorry, folks who have it on Pandora non-stop- I really cannot handle “Jingle Bells” in twenty different versions. A rock version! A classical version! A techno version! I also love how from now on EVERY single place I go, whether it is the grocery store, my awesome CVS, a department store, a gas station, hell, even the people who play music in the EL tunnels are now all playing “Deck the Halls”.  Too much.

2)   On that note, incessant “let’s drop the hint” jewelry commercials. Ladies, if the man is going to want to buy you jewelry (whether it’s just as a gift or for, say, an engagement) all the convincing in the world by letting everyone know that “He went to Jared!” or getting a “Kiss from Kay” is not going to be the tipping point. Trust me. If it is, good luck with your marriage.

3)   Let’s keep going with commercials. CONSTANT TOY commercials. Now, I don’t have children (let’s all pause for a moment and think of how scary that would be if I actually did given that there is only a jar of mustard and a Diet Coke from March in my fridge, maybe some Thai leftovers) but I am pretty sure if I did, my kid would probably have told me about 6,423 times what he/she wanted for Christmas already.

4)   Trying to walk on State Street or “Michigan Street” (don’t get me started on this error) during this time. Yes, there are lights. Yes, there’s a dancing snowman. No, I don’t want to re-take your picture seven times on your iPhone.  Do not take up the sidewalk 8 deep as I am trying to get my annoyed ass to the Red Line. Where I’ll, hey, hear Christmas music! And on that note…..

5)   Trying to shop for anything, anywhere, from now until Dec. 24th (which is when yours truly usually DOES her Christmas shopping). It is now a total nightmare. I just needed a new pair of socks and I am now waiting in line behind 34 people, and of course the one at the head of the line is asking for each of her 12 items to be boxed separately. Here’s an idea- go to the Dollar Store and get some boxes yourself. (Polish Christmas tip #43)

6)   The fact that this time of year, while supposed to be making everyone so “happy!” and “joyous!” does, in fact, make a lot of people feel the opposite way.  People think of loved ones they lost, loved ones that may be sick. Like anything in life, I believe if you force someone to feel a certain way, they’re going to gravitate toward the other. Or maybe I’m just stubborn.

7)   The fact that people do, in fact, celebrate other religious holidays than Christmas.  I would be even more annoyed if I did and if all this stuff was constantly being thrown in my face. I could get into the whole “Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays” thing here, but then again, I’m not fair and balanced like Fox News is.

So, happy holidays to you and yours.  Now I am going to go take a walk on this freakishly warm night on "Michigan Street" and secretly enjoy how pretty the lights look.

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  • I work at a big box craft retail store for 14 years. The week after Halloween, they start playing Christmas music. I have been looking at Christmas decor now for the last 5 months. Burned out does not even begin to describe it. I SOOOO feel your pain.

  • In reply to Meggan Sommerville:

    Love it, Meggan.

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    Amy Litterski DeSario

    Born and bred Chicagoan. 30-something. Married to this guy I met 14 years ago at a Northwest side block party. Have a dog. Never thought those words would be in a description about me. University of Illinois alum. I've loved to write since age 4. I enjoy coffee and hot sauce too much. You can reach me at scribblingofthoughts@gmail.com.

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