Ok, we’ve all done it. Name one time where you know that you were, in fact, guilty of being passive aggressive. However, there are varying levels of annoyance when it comes to passive aggressive behavior. Some are mild offenses; some are just blatant “I will slap you in the face” when I see you next offenses.
1) The unsolicited “Don’t worry honey, lots of women are getting married older these days” comment. This usually comes from an older family member who will pat you on your heathen, unmarried shoulder, that thinks that you’re going to shrivel up and die and live alone to be found dead with a cat having gnawed off have of your face. First of all, I wasn’t even discussing anything to do with a relationship with you; second of all, it sounds like your marriage is going swimmingly thanks to the words around the family gossip mill; and third, mind your business. This also applies to having children as well.
2) The person ,who, during planning a group outing who claims “No, that’s fine, I don’t mind if we go there.” Then proceeds to make little jabs the entire time about the route you’re taking to get there, the food they serve there, “Oh if we would have just stuck around the neighborhood than going all the way to Logan Square for dinner we wouldn’t have to take the blue line and wait this whole time, but that’s okay. This place looks good.” “Oh, they don’t serve any form of gluten free stuff here? I mean, the place we were going to go did, but I’ll make do with something.” You know what? Next time, stay home. And go out in the neighborhood yourself.
3) The “Even though I live/work with you and am in a proximity of 10 feet of you every day I’m going to email you my problem with you.” I mean, okay, no one wants to get called out on doing something that’s pissing off another person. But, really? You can’t call me aside for 5 minutes to tell me that? You needed to email to tell me that I should be coming in at 8:12 instead of 8:16 and not just pop by my desk and say so? Come on.
4) This has become out of control with social media, but the obligatory Facebook/Tweet/GChat post that is CLEARLY directed at someone but is vague enough to have people wondering “WTF”. Generally these surface after breakups, arguments, etc. You’ll often see things like “I was the best you’ve ever had….now I’d love to see you sad” ; "I GAVE EVERYTHING 2 U AND U BROKE MY <3...U KNOW WHO U ARE (more seen in the teenage setting, or at least god i hope so); or, maybe just aggressive like, “You’re an asshat and don’t ever come back in my life. Consider yourself defriended.” Wow, ouch, the defriending. I feel so hurt. Other frequently seen posts of are song lyrics, inside jokes, quotes that are too intellectual for the general public and that they think are really badass to use…you get where I’m going. Hey, there might have been some of my own passive aggressiveness just thrown in there if ya read REAL CAREFUL NOW, YA HEAR?
So there, this is part 1 of an ongoing exploration of passive aggressive behavior. Like I said, throw a nice anonymous comment my way to tell me how much you hate it. ;)