#GoldCoastProblems

Does anyone remember the Lincoln Park Trixie website that was popular a few years ago? (I wish I could share a link, but it doesn’t exist. Maybe because the actual trixies got angry and got it quashed.)  I am not oblivious to the actual problems happening on this planet. However, these are things that I imagine are Gold Coast ” problems”. I myself am a Gold Coaster, and I admit, maybe sometimes I too can be a Gold Coast “Trixie”.

“I have to ride the red line ALL the way to Wilson. That is just SO FAR.”

“Oh my god, Whole Foods doesn’t sell champagne until 11 o’clock in the morning? How will we make mimosas? Well, that’s just horrible.”

“No, I can’t come to your pool today, my favorite pair of Havianas broke and I desperately need a pedicure so I can’t. I just can’t.”

“My doorman is such an ass. He didn’t even hold the door for me when I clearly was trying to carry that massive bag from Bloomingdales in the door and then my new pair of Tory Burch’s fell out of the box. Ugh. The nerve.”

“What! I missed the first two days of the Nordstrom anniversary sale?? Now all of the good stuff is going to be gone. I really wanted that pair of purple J Brand jeans for less than $100. This sucks.”

“Ugh, guys, the line for brunch at Lux Bar is like, 45 minutes. We may just have to go to Dublin’s instead.”

“(angry text) “Yeah I’ll be there as soon as possible. My cab driver is giving me a hard time about taking my AMEX and I am trying to haggle with him now.” (after taking said cab 4 blocks)

“What? You took the lychee martini off of the menu? Why? Well that’s a bunch of garbage. Ugh. I guess I’ll just have to have that pomegranate one. At least it’s cheaper, I guess, only $14.”

“You want me to come to a party where? Isn’t that like, all the way past Western Avenue? Like, Logan Square?”

“You guys, this guy totally just asked me where ‘Michigan Street’ was and I had to laugh. I mean, seriously, go back to Nebraska.”

“Well, when Brad was trying to pick out which shirt to wear tonight, I said, obvi, the pink Lacoste polo, not the gray one…it’s only summer for another month. Duh.”

“I’ll see if I can fit that in between stuff today….I have a hair appointment at 2 and my highlights take FOREVER, then a wax, then a massage, then I just HAVE to get that Marc Jacobs bag fixed because I am seriously dying without it. Dying.”

“You like this shirt? Thanks! I went kind of cheap for this one, this is from Club Monaco.”

“Nooooo….I stepped on my Tom Ford sunglasses and they are TOAST. Never wearable again.” (Ok, I will with full disclosure say that, this did, in fact, come out of my mouth. I’ll bow my head in shame now.)

“Yeah, I have to take the damn Metra alllllll the way up to the north burbs to see my parents. Ugh. What a nightmare.”

“Sephora discontinued my favorite lip gloss shade. What am I going to do? This is really unfair.”

“This spicy tuna roll so doesn’t compare to (fill in sushi joint here’s) spicy tuna. Ew.”

“My Mystic Tan turned out so badly. I am so angry. I have an orange stripe down my back. How can I wear that dress out tonight now?”

Again, this is supposed to be “tongue-in-cheek” writing. I feel very lucky to live in this neighborhood and I am aware that there are many, many worse things happening in this world we live in. But can’t we all take a moment to laugh? Even if it is at ourselves? It puts things in perspective, for me, at least, and that living in this beautiful enclave of the Gold Coast has been a blessing. So, laugh away while I throw on my Lululemon pants for my difficult morning run along the lake.

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  • Oh, the Trixies! When I lived at LaSalle & Maple I worked at a VW dealership and I wrote an ad we ran about the trixies. I think the tag was "drives right past $5 lattes" or something.

    At one point there was a move to call the Gold Coast girls "kisses" but I don't think that ever took off.

    How about, "Londo Mondo only has ONE left of the swimsuit I want and it's size 8! Why don't they stock more 4's? Ruin!"

  • Haha Londo Mondo. Great mention. More 4's, damnit!!

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