Ok, as promised, I would write a second part to a very random gathering of things that I personally find to be unacceptable. Again, these are in no particular order, and some range from much more serious to much more minute.
1) The sudden absence of human cashiers from every CVS on the North Side and in the Loop. This is counterproductive. It takes more time to use these lovely “self serve checkout kiosks” than if I just went to the counter and paid. Without fail, every time I use one, whether I am buying 14 things or just a single bottle of Smart Water, I get an error message telling me that I apparently am incapable of scanning an item and “help is on the way”. This then requires an employee to fiddle with the machine for 15 minutes. Maybe I will start shopping at 7-11 from now on.
2) Chicagoans (sorry, ripping on my own breed here) who when it reaches 50 degrees think it’s okay to wear shorts, a tank top, and flip flops. It’s not Miami, it’s not summer yet, go get a sweatshirt, thank you.
3) On the note of number two, certain types of “jorts” (for those of you out of the hip lingo, “jean shorts”) are not acceptable. I have many a pair. Don’t get me wrong. But when they are knee length and stonewashed and look like they’ve last been worn to an AC/DC concert, no.
4) Buying “fruit salad” and it’s filled with only honeydew melon and cantaloupe. This does not a fruit salad make. One pathetic strawberry buried beneath filler melon does not constitute me spending $5.00.
5) Again, to piggyback off previous #4, opening a Starburst mini package (like the kind you get on Halloween) and receiving two yellows. Throw me a bone and give me at least one pink or one red.
6) Tanning beds. Come on people, we have about 6,435 forms of fake tan mechanisms we can use now besides these. Don’t get me wrong- I used to have the “Super-Duper-Premium Package” for regular tans at multiple salons in Chicago, but try seeing someone go through having Melanoma. This one is VERY unacceptable to me.
7) Waiting over 20 minutes for a Red Line train to take you one direction as four going the opposite direction come by. What is the hold up?
8) Charging $200 per bottle of, let’s say, Grey Goose, at the newest “hip and happening nightclub” in Chicago. We all know this really costs about $30. Get over yourselves and the markup. (And I realize that using the term “hip and happening” just revealed my aging, but oh well.)
9) Getting harassed by randoms while simply trying to hail a cab. Yes, I'm dressed nicely, yes, I have blonde hair. You screaming out "Hey Blondie, where you off to? Can I come with? I bet your boyfriend doesn't have what I've got!" (Insert other disgusting comments here but I don't want to be offensive.) This does not count as "courting". Yes, dude yelling at me from across the street, you just made me swoon and I want to go run away and elope with you. That's definitely the way to get the ladies. Can't wait for our marriage.
More to come soon. I have a feeling there will be a Part Three.
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