Please Keep Your F-Bombs to Yourself!

Please Keep Your F-Bombs to Yourself!

 

It is Sunday morning in a local family restaurant.  I will repeat that it is a FAMILY restaurant.  It is crowded.  We are surrounded by families and senior citizens.

For fun, I have biked here with my children. Two tables over, a group of young adults are talking very loudly above the racket of the restaurant.  They are actually debating the meaning of a word.  No big deal with the noise level,  until it starts…. one F-Bomb after another.

REALLY?  It is  Sunday morning!  Again ...I repeat...at a family restaurant.

My blood is boiling as the word continues to fall from two young men’s mouths with no hesitation.  I look around to see if other tables notice and then watch for signs if my kids have heard.   I considered going over and asking them to hold it down in my sweetest of voices.  I knew I couldn’t contain my emotions enough to have it come out nicely.

Instead, I wished their food would come soon so they could have something to stuff in their mouths and just shut up.   I wanted to leave as quickly as possible.  I let the management know and that I thought it was unacceptable.

How many times have I been in a public place with my kids and this has happened? 

At least a dozen or more.  On the bike ride back home, I start to recall all the F-Bomb moments.   At Christmas time, in a game store at the mall a group of three letting them drop.  Some girls in a “dollar store” using the F-Bomb to talk about hair products.   Seriously? At the park, kids on the basketball court.  At the movie theater waiting in line to purchase tickets…always in casual conversation.  Why do we have to be subjected to this?

I know I am not alone.   I have had other parents say this happens all the time to them as well.

One friend relayed a story of having lunch at McDonald’s with her three and seven year old when she just couldn’t take the language coming from a table over.  When she approached the kids (in this case) and asked them to have some consideration for others, they denied it and called her names.  Her anger heightened, she got in their face and really scared them.  They scattered.  Small victory!

This is supposed to be a blog about all things education related…so here is where the education part comes in. 

You sound stupid.

You look stupid.

Please keep your f-bombs to yourself.

It does not reflect well upon you, your level of intelligence, or your upbringing.

Please tone it down.  I am not asking for Mayberry….but I don’t expect Tony Montana from Scarface every time I am in public with my kids!

What do you think about public profanity?  Are you sick of it? Has it gone too far? Has it ever upset you when you are with your children?  How do you handle it?

I am expecting the comments on this one –please keep them clean! Tweet, share, or contact me at lisa.schoolzone@gmail.com

Comments

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  • I understand that you get upset when people are swearing around your kids, and although it is a free country and people are allowed to use whatever language they want when they want, it would probably have been just as easy as walking over and asking the table to "please" keep it down. They just might have not realized that they were as loud as they were.

    Also - I'm glad you and your friend consider it a "small victory" to get in kids' faces and scream at them. And then I wonder where kids learn their manners. Large fail.

  • I'm very sorry that you don't appreciate freedom of speech, but the fact of the matter is, people can say what they want where they want (with the obviously exceptions stated by law). I'm also very sorry that you don't want to have to parent your children; there seems to be a lot of that going around these days.

    Children are exposed to a multitude of behaviors, speech patterns, beliefs, etc, every single day. It is up to the parents to teach their children what they find acceptable and what they do not. You children will not be damaged if they hear a curse word, and if you do your job as a parent, they won't repeat those words (excluding the minor slip-ups that all children experience when learning something new).

    Your friend should be ashamed of herself. Her manners were far worse than those of the teenagers. She might not have liked their language, but it was not up to her to police it. It is the height of entitlement for her to think that she can dictate her own personal rules to others. The fact that she got in their faces and scared them shows her for what she is: a bully. Why on Earth are you celebrating the actions of a bully? Is that the lesson you want to teach your children? "He who yells loudest wins."

    Furthermore, the "you sound stupid" argument is trite and pointless. Sometimes, a curse word is the exact appropriate word. Maybe not always, but I don't think that's really up to you. Curse words have been used by the greatest minds in the world since the invention of language.

    Finally, given all of the errors in your post, I don't think you are in any position to criticize the speech patterns of others. One cannot proofread what they say before they say it, but one can certainly proofread a blog before they post it.

  • Unless you want to raise your kids in a bubble, they're going to be exposed to all sorts of things you don't approve of. It's very simple - teach them that there are words and activities that are reserved for adults only.

  • Am amazed at the two comments posted. But it points to how our society has deteriorated. I suppose if someone wanted to appear nude in a restaurant we would have to excuse it on the terms that its only freedom of expression. AS a former H.S. teacher I was suppose to ignore the use of F in the classroom, and in the halls and any other behavior that seemed inappropriate in a public place? I would hope that people who are in favor of the use of the F word would look up its meaning and determine whether its a noun, adj. verb, adverb and then examine how they use it. Usually, its grammatically incorrect.

  • In reply to Miss D:

    I am a very educated woman who works for one of the top universities in the country. I hardly think I'm a sign of how society has deteriorated.

    You are comparing apples and oranges. It is illegal in most places to appear nude in a restaurant. It is NOT illegal to swear. There is a huge difference, and if you can't see that, I honestly question whether you were fit to be a teacher. (Of course, your typos make me question that as well; I pray you didn't teach English.)

    I take mass transit in a major city. Believe me, I hear appalling things all the time. However, we don't live in a totalitarian state. There's no "unless someone doesn't want to hear it" clause in the first amendment. That's why hate groups are allowed to spew their vitriol; it's why people like Fred Phelps and his group haven't been shut down. Do I like what they have to say? Of course not. However, the Constitution guarantees them the right to say it, and if we curtail that right, we start down a slippery slope.

    I digress; we aren't talking legalities here, really. We are talking about people who have decided that their way is the right way and therefore feel that they can impose their beliefs on complete strangers. Sadly for you and the writer but fortunately for the rest of the world, they cannot.

  • In reply to Miss D:

    *I am *restaurant, *it's *As *supposed *place. *it's *adjective, *verb, or *it's

  • In reply to meganly:

    Oooh, or maybe that was supposed to be a question? It's hard to tell! If so, it should be, "As a former H.S. teacher *was I supposed to ignore the use of F in the classroom, and in the halls, and any other behavior that seemed inappropriate in a public place?" That said, the sentence could still use a bit of tightening up!
    Muphry's law wins again!

    Hugs and kisses from a serial cusser!

  • In reply to Miss D:

    There's a difference in using "fuck" in the classroom and outside of it. Just like a judge, the classroom is YOUR domain. And you can decide what is appropiate or not.

    In public, there's no such rule. It has nothing to do with "society deteriorating". Just about any word can be considered offensive to some people.

    The principle is that she cannot FORCE others to behave in the way she feels fit -just because there's kids around. They will hear, if not say, much worse. She can be civil and request that they keep their voices down - which they may if approached in a normal, civilized manner.

  • I get freedom of speech but I don't want my kids exposed to endless f-bombs, either. I have no problem asking people to tone it down when my kids are present - did it last week. Just because it is legal doesn't make it appropriate. A little self-awareness, people! Oh, and I wish you worked in my school district!

  • I will curse where I want, when I want. It's not my responsibility to coddle your children.

  • In reply to Eddie:

    Go ahead and swear in front of my children and I'll kick your F'in ass, little Eddie. First offff allll.. stop fuckusing on typos people. Second... asking someone to tone it down is acceptable. If anyone with an ounce of class refuses, "Freedom of Speech" does not protect the right to keep swearing. Freedom of Speech is suppose to protect your right to speak your mind and not have the government come after you. A restaurant has the right to kick you out of their building if you are too loud or vulgar. I hate stupid people using the "Freedom of Speech" card to allow them to be stupid.

  • In reply to BigO:

    Haha, you said "fuckusing."

  • Sorry, but it's not my job to parent your children - it's yours. I don't generally curse loudly and freely in public (anymore) because I'm not a teenager, but there are times when it does slip out. You were well within your rights to scold the teenagers in your classroom, because that is *your* domain. You are well within your right to ask that someone refrain from cursing in front of your children in your home, because that is also your domain. However, in public, kids are going to be exposed to things you don't like or don't approve of - and it's up to you to teach your children that saying X word that they heard in the mall is not OK to repeat. You can't control the behavior of others and it isn't up to you to try, but you ARE responsible for your minor children. Try living up to that responsibility rather than trying to control an environment over which you have no control to suit you. Failing that, buy a private island and raise your kids there, exposing them only to that which you think is appropriate.

  • I'm addressing several of you on this topic. I also had a similar experience; I did address some youths in a civil & polite manner only to receive vulgar & hostile retorts. I agree with some of the others that we are entitled to freedom of speech, and we cannot keep our children in a bubble. Yes it is our responsibiltiy to parent our own children; by teaching, SCREENING what they experience. This is what the woman was trying to accomplish. When you politely ask someone to be considerate & have some decorum & they respond with filfth & a lack of respect then yes, it's safe to say that society is deteriorating. Parents are not teaching their children to respect adults or young impressional minds by setting a good example.

  • In reply to Banky:

    "The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers." -Socrates

    Society has been deteriorating for an awful long time!

  • I think it's worth noting that the best-written and most eloquent responses come down on the side free speech.

    BigO, freedom of speech actually does cover the right to keep swearing. I can get into Constitutional law if you like, but given the way you write, I seriously doubt it would make sense to you. Yes, restaurant owners have the right to eject patrons if they object to their behavior; the point is that other patrons do not have the same right. To break it down into simpler terms, "Your house, your rules." You can't tell me to stop swearing in public any more than I can walk into your house and demand you learn how to spell or put together a coherent sentence.

  • I think that delighting in an adult intimidating and scarring teens just makes you look stupid. It does not make the teens look bad – they’re kids. Your friend has not taught them anything other than if you’re older, you can act like a jerk and get away with it. Furthermore, I think that not proofing your own blog and About section after extoling your virtues as an editor and former teacher with a Masters in Education also makes you look stupid.

  • *scaring (I should take my own advice!)

  • I find that most of the posts to this blog quite embarrassing and that is putting it mildly. What I find so funny is that they are saying she doesn't want to parent her children...where in this blog does she say that??? You won't find it people because she did not say it. The personal attack was unbelievable. As soon as you say somebody can't do something(which was not the case here) the attack begins and "freedom of speech" is thrown out there like a wet dish rag. Really people???? This is NOT about freedom of speech what it is about is common decency and to be smart enough when to be appropriate in public. But as you can see from these many posts common decency has been thrown out the window and the 'dumbness" sets in. Look around and see your surroundings instead of being so caught up in your own world you fail to see all the people around you. It is ALL about common decency for the people around you and that is the bottom line here. I love the part Lisa when you stated about this is where the education part comes in.....those were all great points and how true! Keep up the good work I love reading what you have to say!

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