Have you been good to yourself today?

Have you been good to yourself today?

Or, what acts of self-kindness have you done today?

It's really hard for me to practice self-compassion. It just seems....self-ish. But, honest to God, it means being a better mother, a better wife, a better employee.

You can't pour from an empty cup. You've got to fill it up with self-compassion before you can expend compassion toward others.

coin-laundry-dryers-1It's so hard to think about caring for myself, though, because it seems so self-ish. All I can think of is how to help others, or what should be done. The laundry, dinner for tonight, the messy house, the grocery shopping because we invariably forget something we should have bought--it all weighs on my mind like having a million tabs open in a browser.

Okay. I'm exaggerating. It's more like hundreds of tabs.

Self-care and self-compassion is even more important when getting sober. I thought Day 5 was hard enough, but Day 6, today, I woke up a cranky mess because everything grated on my nerves. So, I decided to go to Walgreens and treat myself to my favorite (non-alcoholic) drink and a banana, because I'm normally too cheap to get my favorite drink. Especially with the sweetened beverage tax. Which I think is actually more than the alcoholic drink tax. (Talk about a perverse incentive.)

What acts of self care can you do?

1Well, for one, you can splurge on your favorite drink.

You can color. I have a set of coloring cards that double as office decoration--I work on them during slow moments at work.

You can write. I'm writing right now and it's incredibly cathartic.

You can carve out 15 minutes, 30 minutes to read a book. Your kid won't starve in 15, 30 minutes. Nor will she die of dehydration. Or of boredom.

Go for a walk. Even a walk around the block can clear the mind. (I say this as someone who is currently "allergic" to exercise.

Post on Facebook. It's amazing how much social media can help with your mental wellbeing---only if you have good supportive friends.

Go to an AA meeting. It's surprising how many social connections you can make at these meetings. I have two new phone numbers in my phone to text, just after two meetings.

Go to therapy. Your kid won't be ruined if you go to therapy for an hour.

Listen to your favorite song for 5 minutes.

There are so many ways to be good to yourself, to be kind to yourself. You need to fill up your own cup of compassion first, before you can even think about expending some of that compassion on others.

Have you been good to yourself today?

 

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