Archive for March 2017

Potty-training as a working parent

Potty-training as a working parent
Back in the old days when I was little and my siblings were little, and my mom stayed at home, she simply planned on a few days of laundry and steam-cleaning and naked baby butts for potty training. First, the kid would run around half nekkid until they looked like they were about to pee–then... Read more »

I still do not know the difference between an ovarian cyst and appendicitis

I still do not know the difference between an ovarian cyst and appendicitis
Not again. Seriously, last year I went to the ER dutifully because my symptoms matched up with appendicitis only to find out that it was probably just an ovarian cyst, and when the pain cropped up again today– Not again, I thought. It started around the belly button, vaguely, and then intensified as it moved... Read more »

Mommy, you so pretty!

My toddler brushed my hair with a dog slicker brush, deftly using a brush-and-twist technique that is guaranteed to give me even more volume to my already gravity-defying thick hair. I took a video of it with my phone, just to see her adorable little furrowed eyebrows, her tongue sticking out of the corner of... Read more »
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Suicide is no joke, so please don't talk about it casually

Suicide is no joke, so please don't talk about it casually
“Whassat he sayin’?” Her high-pitched vowels filled the train car as she spoke to her friend on the phone. “It sounded like rap!” The conductor was trying to announce something over the system, but a wire was loose and it cut in and out. Another passenger, who had the blessed gift of understanding conductor announcements... Read more »

LaCroix is weird

LaCroix is weird
LaCroix is weird. It’s water, but your brain thinks it’s like soda, but it has none of the substance of soda and a vague flavor. (In this case, it’s technically orange-flavored. It’s like the memory of an orange-flavored.) Mental health is weird. Sometimes it’s kind of like LaCroix water–you feel vaguely bad, because it’s a... Read more »

This is me

This is me, after a panic attack. This is me, with two doses of Klonopin, Chex Mix, and M&Ms in my stomach. This is me, worrying about getting fat but choosing (trying!) not to care because that’s what it takes to be functional at work. I’ll just call it lunch. This is me, convinced I’m... Read more »
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What is life like without anxiety?

What is life like without anxiety?
I saw it. I was probably the only person who saw it, but I agonized over whether to do anything about it. Bystander effect, I suppose. Certainly anxiety. The clear blue bank-branded water bottle, sitting at an angle in a too-small pouch on a gray herringbone purse. How is she not checking to be sure... Read more »

How long do you wear your ashes?

How long do you wear your ashes?
Are you an ashes wearer, or an ashes wiper? How long do you wait before washing the ashes off? When I was a teen, I’d feel guilty wiping it off at the end of the day because I was afraid that if I wiped it off too soon I’d lose the spiritual benefit. In college,... Read more »