When people say, "I'll let you know next week," you take it to mean 9am of the very next working day, and when that doesn't happen, anxiety starts chasing its tail and spinning, just waiting for someone to show up with news because it's so difficult to focus without news.
And then you hope that the news is good and worry that by hoping the news would come sooner means it is bad news, because bad news comes quickly and good news slowly, so you wonder if you've just jinxed yourself. And you wonder if they are going to call or email, and you wonder which one means better news--you hope it's email because then you can think about it before replying and plus you hate talking on the phone, but then again the phone means instant responses, which is better, right?
And you've packed healthyish foods for lunch today so you can't be anxious at work very effectively--anxiety functions best on a diet of soda, sugar, salt, and other junk-food-y-type things, none of which you have. Not even chocolate. You ate the few cookies you packed as a treat already, and dried apricots ain't cutting it when all you want is sweets or chips to munch on while waiting for that phone call. Which may not even be today, it might be the next day, or the next, because what do they really mean by "let you know next week" if not Monday?
It's so hard to be anxious at work and all you want to do is go home and curl up under a blanket, because being anxious is better at home and under a blanket than in an office chair. At least there's a better selection of food at home.
and you're waiting, and waiting, and waiting anxiously for that phone call.
Filed under: Uncategorized