I was brave today

When you are a ChicagoNow blogger, one thing you'll know is that we have blatherings.

blathering (n.)
A portmanteau of "blog gathering," or a lighthearted gathering of bloggers in one place, often accompanied by food.

The last one was cold. Cold cold cold. It was one of those nights where the windchills were -30, and the highs were in the -10s.

Freezing.

I thought about bundling up and making it, but it just seemed too much. Some went. Some didn't. I offered to host a second winter blathering in my apartment's meeting room.

I was crazy. Or brilliant. Or both.

But I was very, very anxious. Why did I even offer? I didn't have to. I should have just bided my time til the next one.

But I like these blatherings. It's nice to put faces with the Facebook names, and to connect on similar topics, like, you know, child abuse, anxiety, depression, all that fun stuff. Yeah...that's lighthearted stuff!! (sarcasm)

But it's kind of like a family, in a way. We all share one thing in common--the fact that we all blog, some more faithfully than others, in the ChicagoNow community.

That didn't stop me from standing and crocheting as a bid to calm myself, from anxiously pacing as I thought of more and more things I ought to bring to the blathering for peoples' kids including my own.

It started off slow, while my anxiety started off fast. What if nobody comes? What if I'm awkward? What if there's no food? Nothing to drink? Will it be as fun as other blatherings? Will people come?

But, as a blog friend said, "it's a fake it til you make it day."

And I faked it til I made it. (PS, thank you.)

It was a very, very brave thing to do today, for somebody like me who is an anxious, depressed introvert.

Maybe I will do more brave things in 2017. Maybe you will, too.

2017, the year of bravery.

 

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment