When you're 25, married, and sick, everyone thinks you're pregnant

Every spring I get disequilibrium that leaves me unsteady and mildly car-sick.

Yesterday morning, I had a migraine on top of that. Did you know that migraines can act like morning sickness?

Except I didn't realize it was a migraine at first. I didn't even think about morning sickness, either. I was just extremely nauseous and unsteady. I almost fell into my dresser when getting up, I almost fell forward when sitting on the toilet. What a hell of a spring sickness. It took fumbling around to find and take my combination of pills that helps with the spring disequilibrium: sudafed, meclizine, mucinex. I waited for it to kick in.

Carrying my cereal and tea to my desk was an iffy proposition. I tried eating cereal in case it was a hunger thing, but the nausea made the smell of Honey Nut Cheerios and milk smell like the vague after-linger of cat shit. Drinking earl grey tea, which is normally a completely neutral taste/smell for me, was hard. I managed to choke down a banana.

The medicine still wasn't kicking in. Maybe it wasn't disequilibrium? It wasn't the stomach flu. I debated going to work--I couldn't tell if this would pass quickly or not. I decided I would try. It took a while to make lunch in between waves of nausea. I almost fell over while getting dressed.

And then of course, my cat, Joe, was an asshole. He was pissed that I wasn't paying any attention to him like I normally do with nose-cuddles and petting and talking. So he said,

"Oh hey, I see you're ignoring me. I'm going to proceed to knock everything over on the island in an attempt to get closer to your face so we can cuddle--and that includes the bike you're leaning up against the island."

Asshole cat. Some curse words may have been involved.

I said something about the nausea on Facebook, and when I got to work, I said something about successfully not barfing on the bus.

I had forgotten that if you're in your 20s, married, and say something about feeling sick or nausea, you'll set off hopeful speculation about pregnancy. Friends my age and I always laugh about that--it's like we need to put a disclaimer up there. "NOT PREGNANT." Yet.

At least, I didn't think I was--I had just gotten over a mofo of a 2-day period.

Then a friend suggested it might be a migraine, even though I'd already dismissed the idea because I wasn't having the light sensitivity. So I took a caffeine/tylenol pill. The pain in my neck slowly released, and the nausea reduced. My arms and legs felt exhausted after---like the way it does when a migraine lifts.

Yep. Asshole migraine disguised morning sickness, exacerbated (probably) by the spring disequilibrium. How wonderful.

Oh, and one interesting tidbit I learned while googling "migraine or morning sickness?" is that if people get carsick or have migraines, they are more prone to morning sickness. Meaning, I have something to look forward to if/whenever I get pregnant. Zofran, anyone?

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