Every time I roll out my yoga mat to exercise, the cats come running. Downward facing dog pose means a nose-rub. Leg-lifts equals an invitation for them to come bite my feet. It's really difficult to do any of the laying down weight lifting exercises because they think that it's appropriate to lay down next to me--right where my weight-laden hands are going to go. Same for when I try to segue from downward facing dog to the cobra pose--they think that I'm making a "house" for them to lay under, and attack me with their claws when my belly - the "roof" - comes down toward them. And oh! The string on my exercise pants! CAT JOY.
It's no wonder I'm larger than I should be. It's difficult to exercise daily when I have many helpful critters around.
But after thinking about it, it's pretty clear that they're trying to teach me other exercise moves. They're not trying to make it difficult. They're helping by demonstrating various cat yoga moves.
First, the Hidden Tail Pose. It serves two purposes. One, it tests the suitability of the mat for cat purposes. If it isn't flexible, choose another mat. Two, it warms both you and the mat up before exercising.
Then one can begin the Dontkillmenathsa Pose. It involves some warming stretches and cardio, in which one bends down in a submissive position while wagging your tail vigorously. It's useful to defuse potential fights among fellow yoga cats over the last mat in the studio.
After a sufficient period of warmup and stretching, one can progress into the variations on the Kitty Kungfuaya poses. This particular example involves laying like a slug on YOUR mat, the last mat in the studio, and waving your feet vigorously. It strengthens the stomach muscles and hones your ability to extend and retract your claws.
Toward the end of your Yoga Cat session, slow down by entering into some calm strength stretches. One such stretch is the feline version of the Triangle Pose. Extend one leg straight into the air, and bend inward. After completing the inward bend, simply leave the leg straight in the air to confuse everyone around you.
At the end of your vigorous yoga session, an excellent way to cool down and relax is not the Corpse Pose, but the Warm Laundry Pose. Aside from the benefit of a non-morbid sounding name, the warm laundry eliminates the need for a blanket during this pose, and it provides extra cushioning if your muscles are sore and tired.
So, next time your cats interfere with your exercise routine, consider that they may be providing free yoga instruction, and follow their lead with the various poses. Don't be surprised if your Yoga Cats leaders take frequent breaks to eat, drink, sleep, or roll around in nip, though. During these breaks, feel free to pursue your regular exercise regimen.
Filed under: Caturday