After reading Jenna's post about pedophiles searching for and landing on her blog, and even justifying their lusting after children! (CHILDREN. What sick f**ks.), I decided to see what search terms led people to my blog.
The Duggars. People searching about the Duggars, Bill Gothard and his creepy ATI cult, blanket training and associated child abuse seem to keep landing on posts like this one. You don't have to witness actual abuse to get this sad sense that the children are being quashed under the oppressive regime of Bill Gothard. Who, by the way, looks like a pedo. It's extremely unfortunate that the ATI compound is located in Illinois. The cult is all about subjugating women and abusing kids in the name of God.
Forgiving abusive parents. This is another popular one. I talked about whether I felt like I could forgive my father, and whether it's okay to be angry at your parents. What do I think about it now? I certainly am still angry with them, still, but it's not an all-consuming anger. It's like a disappointment anger. As for forgiveness--the forgivee ought to want to be forgiven. You can forgive them in theory, but they need to want it. Seeing as my dad is so certain he's right, I don't see that happening anytime soon. Also, forgiveness does not equal forgetting about it, as many seem to think. "Just forgive your parents!" people told me, which, if you take it in context, means that they want me to just go back to keeping the family looking like the "perfect" family, and pretending nothing ever happened. Uh, no. HELL no.
Different types of abuse. When people think abuse, they think physical and sexual. Those are pretty overt. Well, there are people who think that hitting kids is merely discipline and not abuse, but they can go jump in Lake Michigan in February. Emotional and psychological abuse are insidious precisely because you can't see the deep, deep wounds they leave. Yet, it is very real.
Can you run while on your period? Yep. 'Course if it's a Niagara Falls type of period, running will only make it come out faster, so beware.
Leaving the Catholic Church/ becoming Episcopalian. I started blogging about this because there's so few personal stories about Catholics becoming Episcopalian, despite the fact that people cross the Tiber in both directions all the time. It's funny. At first it seemed like this huuuge step to me, but now that I've been Episcopalian for nearly a year now, it's not actually that big of a step at all. I still feel kind of sad about the church I grew up with; it's like breaking up with an old friend who simply doesn't see eye to eye with you anymore and you just can't get along.
Natural Family Planning is overrated. It sorta is. I mean, if you have a normal cycle that's at worst only moderately irregular, it's better to avoid unnecessary medicine. However, if you want to be more sure about not getting pregnant (ie, health condition), if you have absolutely crazy periods that make no sense whatsoever, if you have a medical reason to be taking hormones, then don't feel guilty about artificial forms of birth control. I just prefer that people prevent pregnancy instead of feeling like they must have an abortion.
Can live potted plants go through airport security? Yep. It might get tested because fertilizer shows up weird in the x-ray, but yep, it can. I just didn't water it for a couple of days prior to travel to make it lighter and less messy.
Is being deaf a curse? Only if you let it be a curse.
How to tell if you've broken your child's spirit. OMFG, you have to ask this question? That's scary, because day-to-day, good enough parenting, love, and reasonable discipline should not cause you to wonder if you've broken your child's spirit. Breaking a child's spirit is more than just disappointment because "mommy said no."
Is discipline considered abuse? If you hit your child, if you demean your child and call him/her names, if you make your child feel worthless, if you lock your child up in a room for longer than 15 minutes, if you deprive your child of meals, drink, and a place to eliminate, then it's abuse. If discipline means explaining to the child where he/she went wrong and provide a way to make amends, if you put your child in time-outs, withhold dessert or sweets, or ground your child from TV or the computer, then it is not considered abuse.
My dad is raping me homeschooled. There were a number of questions about homeschool and abuse. In short, homeschooling CAN be a cover for abuse. A very convenient cover, and a convenient excuse to protect children from the big bad world, and to convince the child that home is the only safe place, even though they may be abused. Kind of like, "I'm only doing this because I love you."
If you are being abused, witnessed abuse, or suspect someone is being abused, don't let the homeschooling community guilt you into not calling the authorities. Call them anyway. 911 for an emergency or contact Childhelp at 1.800.4.A.CHILD (1.800.422.4453). They will help you find the right number for reporting in your state.