I haven't written for a few days. Life sped on, and left me a little bit in the dust.
First, some good news. I got a promotion at work, meaning I'm moving to a different library and will take on more responsibilities, like actually managing student workers. I've been needing official management/supervising experience, and this will work well for me. Plus my experience will certainly help the different library get things in order. Not to mention the fact that I will be paid a WHOLE DOLLAR more per hour. I'm just raking it in! (Ha, not really. But feels like it.)
I can't remember if I mentioned it yet, but I did my first two hour run on Friday, and I felt great. It was still on the treadmill, and the treadmill can time only up to an hour at a time, presumably to force people off if there is a time limit. I try not to be a douche, but if there is at least one other treadmill open in the exercise room, I will start up another session. And Saturday, I did a second hour-long run. My legs felt a little tired--but not "can't...run...anymore..." tired. No leg cramps, either. My stomach did cramp a little, but if I put my arms akimbo, that seems to help somehow.
And I didn't even have latent tiredness on Saturday. Which turned out to be a good thing, since Jeff and I wore ourselves out volunteering at a museum archive. Setting up new library shelving is actually kinda difficult, believe it or not. Well, it depends on the kind of shelving you have, and this kind takes a rubber mallet to put together. One of the shelving sections started to lean horribly as we were putting boxes on. Instead of being perpendicular to the floor, it leaned horizontally by about 30 degrees. It was going to collapse before long, so Jeff and I had to unload most of the boxes, figure out how to fix it, and load all the boxes back up. Thank God I found the cross-braces. I knew they had to have cross braces for the shelving to prevent this, and it did fix it. I was sore for 3 days, though, and didn't run.
Recently, too, I started feeling more and more restless. More anxious. It was like I was having anxiety about my anxiety. Isn't that the stupidest thing ever? So Jeff called the psychiatrist, who emailed me. (It was so nice of the psych to email me, since I have trouble hearing on the phone.) He asked me to describe my symptoms. Basically, I was restless, felt like moving constantly even though I actually am not, had trouble concentrating, and had some trouble staying asleep and falling asleep, but that part isn't as bad. I thought it was all anxiety, but he told me it sounds more like something else: akathisia. It's basically like restless leg syndrome, even though I'm not actually in discomfort or pain if I don't move.
He said that sometimes it might subside over time. I'm giving it another week or two, because it's ridiculous. Also some side effects: nausea and lack of hunger. I'm not actually hungry, but eating helps with the restlessness a bit. And if I don't eat a meal, then I feel like throwing up. It's so weird. Plus I was all weepy yesterday. No fucking reason why.
But I feel better today. I'm going to try to run off this akathisia tonight and wear myself out enough that I can focus on homework.
That's the other thing that keeps on moving on--school. I can't let all of the job changes or mood changes or medicine changes make me forget deadlines or prevent me from working on school. That's what I'm afraid of. Getting bogged down in school.
Life speeds on, and sometimes I feel like I'm left in the dust. Or I feel like running like hell to catch up. Like right now. I wish I could just run myself tired so I can focus on work this afternoon--but we'll see what happens.