I'd been on a hiatus from my running training this past week thanks to some nasty shin splints, caused by my Nike walking shoes. Yes, I was being cheap and running in 3 year old walking shoes. (Or is it older? I can't remember. Not a good sign.) I suppose I could have run anyway, maybe even in my socks on the treadmill, but Internet-chondria struck again. Apparently continual shin splints can lead to stress fractures, especially in women.
Yeah. A stress fracture would bench me FAR longer than bad shoes. Better to take the week off.
That led to me being a fat-ass. Well, not being a fat ass, but maybe more like acting like a fat ass. Running gave me endorphins, and avoided eating for a couple hours before running, and my appetite was usually suppressed for 30-45 minutes afterwards, which really reduced how much I've been consuming, naturally.
Without running, I've been eating more since I didn't have to worry about food cramps. And without the endorphins, that means I've been eating chocolate brownies, Halloween bite size chocolate candies, and craving pretty much chocolate everything. Not to mention the ice cream, the extra bowl of cereal before bed, and so on...
It's a double-whammy. I get seasonal affective on top of my depression every winter. It sucks ass. Running the past couple of weeks have actually done a LOT to help me not slip into the deep hole of darkness, dysphoria, and apathy. I take anti-depressants year round, but it's never enough every winter. Exercise is actually recommended if you're battling depression, because of the endorphins. Also, exercise, at least for me, makes me feel better about my overweight body, flabby stomach and all. (See, that's the other whammy. Bad body image makes me drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream.)
So, after running for a couple of weeks, and then having a sudden week-long hiatus has made my mood drop incredibly. I couldn't keep up with housework (and that's even with DH helping me out), I had difficulty concentrating on school, and last night I started talking about wanting to move to some place less depressing than Chicago, like Albuquerque where it's warmer and sunnier year round, even if their days get shorter too.
While we had a bit of a crisis with one of our cats, Joe, getting sick, we evaluated our money and realized that we can probably afford getting me new shoes. Especially since running seems to make me less depressed--that saves on additional prescription, therapy, and food costs.
So, today, we're headed up to Fleet Feet so I can get fitted for some running shoes to beat the blues. If the sports bras aren't too expensive, I might get one just so I can stop running in my overly small VS bras.
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