Staring Down The Barrel of Mega Millions

It's currently 9:15pm. In 45 minutes, someone's life will change. Forever.

I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I wish to be that person. Yes, I bought a Mega Millions ticket. I bought 10 actually, but only 8 of them are mine. 2 belong to my friend Tricia.

Ah Tricia...how do I describe her. Friend. Platonic. I think of her as my forever crush. I remember the last time a lottery jackpot got really high. We were walking around Lincoln Square, talking about what we'd do if we won.

I wouldn't quit my job. I would get a really nice furnished apartment, at least for the first year. Not too nice, but something I could have a dinner party in, and somewhat convenient to get to work.

We walked under the night sky, and decided to buy tickets, which I did on my phone. She helped me pick numbers. We made a deal that if we won, we'd split the money. We'd be tied together forever in a way. I like that idea. I like Tricia in a way that I don't like most women. I like her in a way that I don't like most people.

I don't think our deal carries over to this pull. I did tell her that if I won, I would give her 10 percent of the winnings. I'm pretty sure if she won, she'd take me out to a nice dinner.

We talked about the vacations we would take, the food we'd eat, and the places we would see. Tricia would be so content on a beach somewhere. How amazing would it be to explore?

I know that my $30 was probably thrown away. Perhaps that's why I feel shameful. I have a 300,000,000/1 chance of winning. Perhaps my hope smells of hubris, and that's why I feel this way.

But sometimes, it's nice to dream. To escape...to somewhere else. To imagine what could be. I'd trade in my Subaru for a 2019. The apartment...I'd get a really nice bike. I'd take weekly private Jiu Jitsu lessons...and I'd travel. I could see my daughters whenever I wanted, not stashing dollars away under the mattress, pining for the day when it's enough.

I find solace in the fact that there are so many dreamers in Chicago tonight. I'd like to believe one of us will wake up tomorrow with a new life, hopefully better than the current...perhaps not.

My life is good. It's worthwhile, and I have what I need, I'd not what I want. Secretly, I would love to be able to text Tricia to tell her that she won $1B and she doesn't have to work anymore. She can travel, and spend time with her nieces and nephew. The fact that her truest desires are so simple is part of what makes her so endearing.

What would I do with a billion dollars anyway? I've never even had caviar.

9:31PM

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This post was created on an iPhone 6s

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