- I haven’t written for weeks, and I really don’t have a good excuse. Apparently any inspiration I thought I had finished it’s beer, dropped the mic and walk out the door weeks ago. In spite of all the recent events going on in my life, and my brain still functioning at it’s normal pace, 10 tabs open at all times, it ceases to create any proper content.
- See #1. This type of mental constipation sucks, frustrates the hell out of me. If I can’t do what I love the most, I tend to turn into Bitchy Susan. And Bitchy Susan is a horrible person I wouldn’t leave alone with my kids, nor share a cup of coffee or a bottle of wine with. She needs to turn herself back into Sweet Susan, the gal she use to be, who use to smile more and appreciate all the positivity in life. But right now, I just want to punch her in the face.
- I’ve only been blogging for 7 years now, so the though of me already burning out is unacceptable. I’ve already done this shit. I can do this shit. I can still continue to do this shit for as long as there is oxygen in the air and hope in my soul. Self-doubt can be the most debilitating thing ever. And she seems to be choking the hell out of me right now.
- Want a bit of irony? My local community college is now actually paying me to teach and inspire others as their creative writing instructor. HA! Go figure. Guess all my time and energy has been taking time to prepare for classes that will inspire, blow minds, change the world and end hunger.
Well, ok. Maybe not those last two. But you know what I mean. Even if I make a difference to just one student, then this experience will be worth more than a million dollars. Time well spent. So if I’ve just reached a point where I can only focus on one monumental thing at a time, then so be it.
- Just, life. Going through a major change in my relationship. Dealing with kids that are adjusting to this huge change. Pulling up my stripper panties and having to do more, be more than ever before. Those four little eyeballs looking at me each day for guidance, all while I repeat “keep your shit together, Tara” in my mind all day. Every day. It’s exhausting. MAMA IS TIRED!
I’m in limbo right now. My Ying is fighting with my Yang right now, like drunken siblings, and I’m just trying to figure everything out. But I have you guys in my corner (I hope) and I promise to try harder. To not suck so much. I figure a bottle of wine and a slap upside the head will cure everything. Any takers?
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