This Sunday, the most epic moment will happen.
To try to explain my feelings at this point are incomprehensible.
Once I learned that this moment may happen, I was initially filled with excitement. But that moment quickly filled with questions, doubt, angst, and worst of all, depression.
I didn’t expect this reaction. I’ve always been strong enough to handle everything life has thrown at me. But this – this was very different. This involves me going so far back in time, and regressing to a place where hurt and heartbreak live.
I’m now at a place in my life when I’ve forgiven all that was done in the past, and am ready to move on.
It won’t be easy. To be honest, it’s tearing my soul apart, but it’s what needs to be done. For the good of my own sanity, for the good of my children. I just pray I’m strong enough during the process.
I hope I’m strong enough to contain the hurt and anger I’ve held in for so long.
I hope I can be the strong, positive person I’ve worked so hard to be.
I hope that this will give closure to my childhood and formative years.
I have so many hopes….but I’m realistic enough to know that these hopes may never be recognized. And I need to prepared for that. If not, then I need to deal.
I’m so thankful for the family and friends I choose to surround me during this difficult time in my life. I appreciate their love more then they will ever know.
This Sunday, I will come come face-to-face with a woman I admired during my entire childhood. My blood. My heart. My inspiration, negative and positive. But due to circumstances, I haven’t laid eyes on her nor spoken to her in 25 years.
This Sunday, I will re-meet my biological mom.
Hello Tara? It’s reality calling. Be prepared for this shit!
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