For those that know me well, I pride myself on being a strong woman and a dedicated mom. I love hard and have faced everything life has thrown at me with a resilient soul and a solid front.
But right now, I have to admit something - I am scared.
I had my third ever mammogram today. The whole process is just uncomfortable and awkward, and just….ugh. I was thankful that my exam room was warm and my radiologist’s hands were gentle while she professionally performed her job with the utmost respect.
As we waited for each set of scans to appear on screen, she did an amazing job of distracting me. We talked about my cute leather boots, how Chinese food boxes could unfold into actual plates, and what my plans were for the afternoon.
Together, we reviewed my grey and white x-rays. We ooohh’d and aaahhh’d. At one point, I said to her that my boobs look like the moon. She giggled, explaining that in her 30 years of performing mammograms, I’m the third person in one week to say the same thing.
We laughed. We bonded. I felt comfortable. This was cool.
But now comes the waiting. The hardest part.
I’ve known too many people my age that have recently been diagnosed with cancer of some sort. Hell, I helped my own husband get through testicular cancer, so I’ve been down this road before.
These were people with no history, no rationality as to why it happened. And yet it did. So if them, why not me?!
Cancer doesn’t care about your age or your life situation. It comes when it wants to. And she can be a real bitch.
I have 6 days to wait until I find out the results of this latest mammogram. And I’m not going to lie - a touch of fear has me holding my breath right now.
Until the results come in, I’d appreciate some positive thoughts.
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