1. Yes, we truly are quite feisty in bed, which makes us not only the best lovers in the world, but the perfect candidate to procreate. If you can dominate us, you are a step ahead of 98% of the men in the world. And guaranteed to have awesome offspring.
2. We have a great tolerance for pain and need twice as much anesthesia to knock us out, making childbirth a cakewalk. When most women are screaming up a storm that echoes down the hospital hallway, we’re busy meditating and making a grocery list. Sticks and stones, but it takes a lot to break us.
3. We were teased as kids, so our skin is a bit thicker than most. We pass this unique gene on to our kids, it’s in the blood. If you think you can hurt us, think again. We are human Weeble Wobbles.
4. School teachers and principals either love us or hate us; they tend to whisper to themselves “oh crap, here she comes, she questions things” or “oh good, here she comes, she’ll understand.” We tend to stand out at PTO meetings, parent-teacher conferences and Market Day pick-ups, making it easy to remember our name and outgoing disposition. And the fact that you should never, ever piss The Redhead off.
5. Because we were bullied as children, we grew up shy and reserved. As adults, we’ve learned to stand up for ourselves and speak our mind, especially when it comes to our children. If you choose to talk smack about our kids, we will get in your face. We will be calm but direct. We will be fair yet stern. Wanna tussle? Be prepared to tussle.
6. We tend to go grey sooner than our brunette and blond sisters. We try to coordinate this with our menstrual cycle as best as possible. This is the most perfect example of behavior modification that nature intended. The kids have quickly learned that every 4 weeks, Mama’s grey hairs will pop and she’ll suffer from killer cramps, so BE GOOD AND PLAY NICE! This rule should apply for no matter whom they meet or what they choose to do in life.
7. On this same note, we tend to look younger than most moms, thanks to a lifetime of being slathered in SPF 1,000. Some moms my age I know rely on Botox, boob jobs and hair transplants to look young. Us Gingers are naturally blessed with good genes. I’ve been ostracized in certain circles because of this. Don’t hate bitches…don’t hate.
8. We may seem impossible at first, but when it comes down to it, we are the fiercest parents and most loyal people you will ever meet. We are no better than most moms, yet are distinctly unique. We never give less then 110% of ourselves to those we love. We wear our stubborn hearts on our sleeve, so be gentle. As strong as we are, we still bleed. We have no tolerance for shit, and if you give us shit, we’ll fling it right back in your face. We love hard, we fight harder, and still maintain a perfect balance to match our perfect redheaded personalities.
*Thank you to Dionne, Marla, Jennifer, Jessie, Alison, Ginger and Beth for your input*
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