10 things I learned during my 30-day sex challenge

I almost feel obligated to write this follow-up blog, because you’re all probably wondering – well? What the hell did you learn from this sex challenge? Anything valuable or nothing at all?

Turns out that when you spend so much time focused on one event, you eventually learn something about the human condition. This challenge was no exception. Here are the top ten things I’ve pulled from this whole thing.

#1 – Retaining intimacy with your partner takes work. Like, fucking hard work. When bogged down with family, work and life in general, it’s so easy to forget the whole reason you came together in the first place. A sense of disconnect happens, which eventually causes laziness. We eventually stop trying. DON’T EVER STOP TRYING! Eventually you both will be laughing like teenagers, making you ever wonder why you ever stopped being sexy crazy intimate in the first place.

#2 – Make the effort to slow your roll and (temporarily) stop the world to focus on each other. Forget your roles as mom and dad, employees and homeowners to just be husband and wife. To just….be.

#3 – Don’t be afraid to spice things up. This whole challenge inspired me to pull out lingerie and costumes that haven’t seen the light of day in a long time. Sometimes it’s nice to get out of our head and be someone else for a moment. If it’s an outfit that brings out your best curves and makes you feel sexy, then do it!

#4 – Don’t ever attempt to have sex on random household furniture. Trust me on this one. I think I pulled 7 major muscles in the process and was sore for days. ‘Nuff said.

#5 – The more we have it, the more we want it. And vice versa. Yes, I believe that sex could officially be categorized as a drug.

#6 – Quality over quantity. As you already know, there were nights when copulation was not possible, due to sick kids, late night work schedules or just sheer exhaustion. I’d rather save my energy for another night, when I can give 101% of my focus and energy. I refuse to be the water boy, I want to be the all-star quarterback.

#7 – The male libido still intrigues me. Even when they say they’re not ready, they’re ready. When they say they’re ready, they’re totally ready. There must be a switch in the male brain that says, “oh, she’s in the room. Let’s have sex!” Again, fascinating.

#8 – Laughter is the best aphrodisiac. If you can’t laugh with and at each other, then there’s something missing.  Life should be fun, and sex is the best opportunity to have fun. Period.

#9 – Quickies can be just as rewarding as the hour-long sessions, depending on your mood. And especially when you have children banging on your bedroom door. Meh.

#10 – With love comes commitment. With commitment comes patience. With patience comes the ability to overcome your partner’s flaws. Even when you’re ready to knock them into next week, something inside your brain clicks and says ‘hey, I kinda like this asshole, so forgive and move on.’ It’s not always easy, but it is possible.

 

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