The 30-day sex challenge: Days 25 & 26

Dude is killing my sex life. We need to change his name to Boomerang Scalzo. Within hours of putting him in his bed, he’s climbing into ours. When we gently replace him, it’s only a matter of time before he wants to cuddle with us once again.

UGH! This shit goes on all night.

The whole thing is cute, and I find it hard to deny him because he’ll grow up quicker than I want him to and eventually miss the days when he actually wants to cuddle with his parents.

But at the same time, I can’t have an active sex life when I know one or both kids may walk in at any moment. I don’t even like the damn dog in the room at the same time. I feel like she’s watching us and scoring me like an East German judge during the Sexual Olympics. Meh.

So I’m sure some of you are probably saying to yourself “then why don’t you lock the door?”

Umm, have any of you tried to lock the door on young children? It never works. They may temporarily be locked out of said location, but they will continue to bang on that damn door and scream for your attention until you respond.

MAMAAAAAAAA! I WANT MILK! I WANT TO WATCH SPONGEBOB! I’M HUNGRY! THERE’S A GHOST IN MY ROOM! I NEED TO PEE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!?

On occasion, I feel like I’m in a twisted Broadway version of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.

STELLLAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I am trying to be patient, and am seriously seeking the perfect cure to childproofing my bedroom. If you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them. Share with me on facebook or twitter.

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