The most perfectly imperfect parents you'll ever meet

I was never given a book during childbirth. I had a million people tell me how they thought I should raise my kids, but they never took into account my opinions. Between generation gaps and changes in the parental ideal, here I am. All alone. Left to my own deceives, completely relying on a mix of my own childhood experiences and current beliefs.

Talk about a sticky wicket. Talk about a slippery slope. Yet here I am.

So I do the best I can.  Some may agree, some will probably slam this blog with negativity. But I know exactly who I am, and I’m proud with the results. And I stand true to what I believe. I’ve never claimed to be perfect. But what I do know is that I’m raising two of the most amazing people I’ve ever known. Even while I do this:

*I occasionally use the TV as a distraction so I can have some alone time to pee, shower and change my clothes.

*We live next door to a family of cops. When a squad car would be parked in the driveway, I’d look at Dude and say “Uh oh, what did you  do?!” The look of fear on his face is priceless.

*I told Little Woman that it was ok to hit another kid. But ONLY if they threw the first punch.

*On occasion, if Hubby won’t be home for dinner, I’ll allow the kids to pick out what they want to eat. This usually consists of frozen pizza, microwaved hot dogs and a bowl of cheetos. Why not let them splurge once in a blue moon?

*If Dude climbs into bed with us at 3AM and wants to start a conversation, I’ll ignore him. I’ll pretend that I’m asleep so he’ll eventually fall back asleep. He usually does.

*I recently sold a bike that Little Woman outgrew, then used the money to buy wine.

*Except in the summer months, when they get sweaty and dirty from playing outside, I don’t bathe my kids every day. And yes, I do consider running through the sprinkler with a bar of soap a legitimate shower.

*When playing outside and Dude drops trou to take a leak in our backyard, I’ve stopped yelling and allowed him to carry on. Must be a guy thing, and I embrace this.

*In moments when I realize that the kids don’t have clean underwear, I’ve encouraged them to turn their dirty underwear inside out for the day. Mama promises to do laundry immediately. My bad!

I asked for input from other parents. And boy, did I get input! Apparently, I’m not alone. Here’s a sample:

“My kids have eaten their morning oatmeal in the form of a cookie (with milk because I'm healthy like that.) AND although I know the issues of screen time but occasionally could kiss the folks at Disney for affording me a few minutes peace.” – Nicole Z.

“Even when the kids were much younger, ages 6 or 7 - I let them watch COPS. Teach them young that you break the law - you will get caught! (and maybe embarrassed on TV.)” – Meggan S.

“Lately I tend to yell at the kids to refrain from having the TV on while playing devices and video games at the same time. It is over I watch General Hospital while typing an email and playing words with friends. Hey kids...Do as I say not as I do!” – Anne O.

“I let my kids swear. I mean really swear. You should hear the language around here. It's simply offensive and fantastic.” – Nicole K.

“My daughter is 13 now and although I have talked to her about drinking and being around people drinking (Yes I remember quite well what I did) that if she is ever drinking to call me to pick her up, do not drive, do not get in a car with anyone that has been drinking and I will not grill her to death for her choice but we would talk about it.” – Tom T.

“I told my girls in Jr. high if someone wants to meet you later to fight you, throw your books on the floor and say right here right now and put up your dukes....9 times outta 10, they'll back down and that will be the end of that.” – Mary J.

 Any other parental advice you care to share? Contact me on facebook or twitter. I’d love to hear from you!

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