Perimenopause, take me now!

I’m hot. And no, I don’t mean the “I’m an attractive girl with a great smile, nice tits and a tight ass” hot. I’m talking temperature hot. Like, all the time. And it’s starting to piss me off.

Now that summer has cracked, by 3PM I’m already sweating balls in my own home. I refuse to turn on the AC until desperately necessary. I can’t justify wasting the energy and money. But at the same time, now that I’ve gracefully entered my 40’s, surviving these hot, sticky summers has become harder and harder. I get moody, I get irritable, I get bitchy. And no one wants to deal with me when I’m bitchy. So on occasion, Hubby will get a call at work by me, screaming a colorful version of “I’mturningonthegoddamnairbeforeIcommitamotherfuckingmurder!”...all while my head spins a complete 360 and spitting up pea soup.

It’s a talent. I take pride.

But what’s been going on at night is even worse. I wake up, multiple times a night, experiencing hot-cold-hot-cold phases. I initially cover myself with a blanket and comforter to warm up, only to rip those covers off a half-hour later, covered in a light layer of sweat, which would eventually freeze over, causing me to throw on the sheets again, to only get hot – again – 10 minutes later. And on, and on, and on. For 8 hours straight. Meh.

This shit get old. I wake up every morning feeling gross, having done nothing to earn this sweat at all.

I don’t know if this is a sign that my aging body is ready to begin “The Change” or if I’m just losing my mind…but at this point, I don’t give a crap. I just want this done.

I would love for someone to rip out my lady junk, seriously. I don’t need it anymore. After Dude was born 4 years ago, Hubby and I decided we didn’t want any more babies. We have 2 healthy kids, one of each, which was good enough for us. Shortly after this decision, Hubby got snipped and that was that.

I wish there was a switch to flip, shutting down my entire reproductive system, but there’s not. I have to ride out the next phase of my physical life until she figures out what the hell is going on.

Is this perimenopause? Global warming? Self-induced psychosis? At 42-years-old, who knows. I’m just thankful I still have a healthy libido. But that’s a whole different kind of blog….in the meantime, guess I'll just have to sweat it out. Anyone got a tampon and a cold washcloth? Ugh.....

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