The top 4 ridiculous things I've heard this week

People kill me. Some of the things I see and hear on a daily basis shock the shit out of me. And this coming from someone who's seen AND done everything imaginable. It takes a lot to shock me, yet here I stand.

For example:

#1 – Hubby says ‘let’s keep the wine rack filled so we have something for our guests to enjoy.’ LOL! Bitch please. My response? ‘yea, we never have “guests” over, so what is the point of filling the wine rack just so we can stare at the goddamn wine? What is the point of purchasing if not to consume? Let’s enjoy the bounty!’

#2 – My kid is smarter than your kid. Really?! My kid is the only 4 year-old I know that will joyfully recite his own version of Bohemian Rhapsody that would make the Merc himself proud. 70's classic rock is a staple in our house. Parenting? Yea, I’m doing it right.

#3 – I’m highly educated, so what I say is gospel. Um, yea, don’t think so. I’m an educated woman that attended two prestigious colleges and earned a Bachelor’s degree, yet I’m smart enough to admit I don’t know everything. I can recite Shakespeare like a boss and can handle myself on the streets as well, yet I have the discretion of when to speak my mind and when to keep my mouth shut. If you chose to hold yourself on a platform so high, then that’s all you’ve got. A big platform, devoid of all other humans, falling so far…..it’s gonna hurt. Be careful.

#4 – Marriage should be between a man and a woman. I don’t get that. In my world, if a person loves another person and chooses to commit to said person, than what’s the problem? Love is love, and that is all that should matter. I get the whole ‘procreation’ thing, I’ve done it twice myself, but does this mean that the world will end depending on whom we choose to sleep with or what’s between our legs? I think not. Life itself has a way to continue for the most part, it’s already in our genes to fuel this pattern. But who says it requires a man and a woman? A dick + vagina = perfect love?! I don’t think so. Do your own thing, love who you want, the rest will work itself out.

 

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