7:15 ~ I woke to a foot in my face. Whenever Dude jumps into bed with us, he insists on molding himself into me. Yet this morning, he was upside down. I had a mouth full of 10 piggies when I woke up. I couldn’t help but smile. He farted. I laughed.
8:00 ~ Little Woman was off to school and I fired up the Keurig machine, because Hubby actually took the time to buy K-cups last night. Bless that precious man’s soul. I sip every last drop as if it were my last.
12:00 ~ I do what I fear most: I load up a 4-year-old and head for a retail shop. I need to go shopping for my interview outfit tomorrow, so I have no other choice. He begs me to take him to our local bookstore afterwards so he can play on their Chuggington train table afterwards. I agree, but only if he’s a good boy while mama shops. Blackmail is good, blackmail works.
12:30 ~ I try on a few pieces of clothing that magically fit my frame. My sizing instincts are spot-on, making this process effortless. I ask the 4-year-old for his opinion, expecting honest fashion advice. As if I'm in the dressing room with Rachel Zoe. Clearly left my brain back at home.
1:00 ~ We’re driving to the local bookstore so he can play trains. Only because he was a good boy while shopping. Only because I promised him, and I always keep my promises. Blackmail or not, I own up.
4:00 ~ Realizing that the dress pants I just bought are about an inch too long, and having zero time to get to a tailor, I scour the house for a needle and thread, which is a joke because I don’t know how to sew. Who knows what the hell was going to happen if I actually found some.
4:15 ~ I find a roll of black electrical tape in the junk drawer. I convince myself that this could actually work. After a few minutes and several judgmental looks from Little Woman, my pants were taped up. Not sure if that was a total white trash thing to do, or if it was sheer brilliance, but it worked! BOOYA!
With the outfit all set and my stomach filled with butterflies, I head to bed early and pray I present myself as the professional that I am, keeping my snarky sense of humor in check and swear words to a minimum.
Coming tomorrow – The Big Interview!