To follow up my blog last week, 5 reasons why job hunting sucks for a stay-at-home mom, I’ve decided to document a week’s worth of my experiences, ‘cause this shit ain’t no joke. And maybe some of you will you tell me that you relate, while you hold me in your arms, stroke my hair and spoon-feed me wine.
Day 1 ~
7:15 ~ Up as usual, still half asleep, to prepare Little Woman’s lunch for school and ship her out the door for the bus stop, thanking Jeebus I don’t have to go out in the crappy weather. I head back to the kitchen and see we’re completely out of K-cups. Fuck. It’s going to be a long day. I go back to bed.
7:30 ~ Just as I’m in that semi-hazy-almost-back-to-sleep stage, Dude runs into the room, throws a toy at my face and kicks me in the taco as he jumps into bed with me. He asks for my iPhone so he can watch Thomas the Tank Engine videos on YouTube. He could’ve asked to watch porn and I would’ve handed him the phone, just so I can fall back to sleep again. Just for a few minutes……
8:00 ~ Hubby starts blowing up my phone with texts. “Hey, you there? Hello? Are you up yet?! What are you doing? Where are you? Hello!” Ugh, DAMMIT! Yes I’m up. Now. He requests I send my resume to him right then, because there’s a blogger position open at his company, people have been talking about me, they want my latest resume. Great, now I have to leave my warm bed and walk to my desk to get my computer, which I quickly bring back to bed with me. Hey, did you know that a Mac will work in an almost full-upside down position? Yea, me neither. I emailed my resume off and cross every finger and toe possible.
9:35 ~ A recruiter I’ve been working with about a specific copywriting job calls, and of course I’m on the toilet. Really?! I let it go to voicemail, because answering a professional phone call while pooping is just gross. I make a mental note to call her back. Mental note quickly forgotten as I spent the entire morning catering to the demands of a 4-year-old boy. Without coffee.
12:00 ~ In between episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants and Phineas & Ferb, I’m scrolling the job websites, tailoring cover letters and sending out résumés like this WAS my full time job. In the meantime, laundry has to be done, house picked up (already), dishes are screaming for attention, and that 2-foot little person I share a house continues to demand every inch of my soul. The decision to even shower today leaves me confused. I cook lunch, still wearing my PJ’s.
2:30 ~ I text Hubby, did you pass on my resume for that blogger job? Yea, he did. He says they say they know they need me, but keep dragging their feet. I ask if they can afford me? He says yea, they can’t afford NOT to have me. Ball in my court. Love 1.
4:00 ~ I get an email from a company I sent my resume to just a few hours earlier, they want to meet with me. The interview is scheduled for this Friday. CRAP! Dude isn’t in school this Friday, now I need to scramble for daycare. Need to work on that ASAP! And now another fear – what the hell am I going to wear?! It’s for a social media manager position, so I have to look professional but not stuffy. Cool, but approachable. Trendy, but not younger than my age, because nothing says ‘Asshat’ more than a 41-year-old woman trying to dress like Snooki. Note to self: watch your language, attempt to filter the fuck word. At least during the actual interview.
6:00 ~ Hubby comes home, tells me that he told the interested parties at his job that they should’ve hired me a long time ago. He put in a good word for me and promoted me like a rock star pimp. I love my hubby, he’s cute. And he brings me wine.
Guess I’ll see what happens on Day 2, posting tomorrow!