Next month, I will be turning 42. There, I said it! It’s officially out there and I can’t do a damn thing about it. I am stuck in that age of ‘no longer 40, yet haven’t reached middle age.’ Stuck in Limboland. Kinda like Legoland, but with more crying and even more booze. Meh.
When I turned 39, all I could think about was “holy crap, I’m almost 40!” The sheer premise of that sentence would make me cringe with disbelief, suffer bouts of drooling and cause uncontrollable crying fits of terror that would confuse a schizophrenic.
But since I survived the monumental event of turning 40, I can honestly say that all upcoming birthdays don’t scare me anymore. I’m actually looking forward to being ’42 & Fucking Fabulous!’ I’m going to make a poster with those exact words and carry it around that day, with my head held high. Don't dare me!
The main reason I’m excited about turning 42 is a little thing called hindsight. I have 41 years of experience to look back on the things I’ve seen and done, some good and some not so good. So if I could go back in time and sit my 22-year-old ass down for a nice long chat, what would I say to her? What advice would I give? Ha, well, just for starters…
*You don’t always have to follow everyone else. Do your own thing!
*Don’t be afraid to speak your opinion, people will respect you more for it.
*Go out more and have fun, don’t always be ‘safe’.
*You don’t have to put up with being treated or talked to negatively. You deserve better than that.
*Karma is a wonderful thing. It does work. So be good! The rest will be taken care of.
*Don’t be so easily distracted with love. Take care of *you* first.
*Remember those girls you use to envy in high school? Yea, they’re all now 300 pounds with 7 kids and 6 former husbands. Don’t waste your time.
*Eventually, you will have children, and they will be the best thing you’ve ever done. They will define who you are. Don’t ever squander that.
*Enjoy the time you have. Because it will be taken away quicker than you realize.
*Don’t be so trusting of everyone. Some people are not as honest as they seem.
*Don’t drink more than your body weight. You will pay for it in the morning.
*Pick up the phone more often and tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them.
*Don’t ever doubt yourself. Trust your instincts.
*Go get that massage or manicure. Do whatever makes you feel pretty.
*In a couple of years, a traumatic event will take place regarding your current love. When it does, 2 words of advice – fight harder. This will all make sense when the time comes.
*You will get hurt. You will cry. You will have moments where you feel your world is coming to an end. But don’t ever give up faith. No matter how bad it gets, it will get better.
*Always remember that you are smarter, stronger and more beautiful than you will ever realize.
With that final thought, I’d probably shoo myself away with a smack on the ass. Then buy myself the most amazing glass of wine I’ve never yet tasted. 42 may be approaching me quickly, but the real question is: 42, are you ready for ME?!