Summer survival in the suburbs

Summer survival in the suburbs

It’s mid-summer and I’m about to lose my damn mind.

These little people that live with me – ya know, the ones I created – are such demanding little midgets that suck my time and energy. Every morning they look at me like a professional entertainment director, expecting a detailed report of when/what/where and who we shall encounter that day. Oh, and why? Always bloody why.

Really? I consider sneaking in a private pee, a full 3-minute shower and two cups of coffee monumental events for that day. Whatever else follows is just icing on the cake.

So how do us mamas fill the time, especially those trapped in the unglamorous suburbs? Oh, hell hath no fury like a mama on a budget!

*Free admission days at most museums, art institutes and aquariums downtown. Sure, you may have to dwell amongst the scurge of Chicagoland, but even ‘free’ isn’t free kids, so suck it up. Avert your eyes and look at the friggin’ fish dammit!

*The public library, offering an endless summer of reading and age-appropriate activities every day of the week. And if that doesn’t entice them, tell the kids that it’s ok to run up and down the rows, pulling down as many books as possible. The librarians enjoy the challenge.

*Man-made beaches. Sure, it’s not quite the same as being on a real beach on either coast, but a few miles of sand and some welcoming water can be a break from the norm. The kids can swim and play for hours, and you have the disillusioned joy of being somewhere where the cabana boys look like Channing Tatum and the vodka-infused drinks are ice cold.

*Most movie theaters offer discounted shows before 6PM. So if it’s dangerously hot outside, nothing is better than slipping into a cool, dark theater for 2 hours to escape reality. Oh, and bless the person that invented the theaters where they serve you food AND wine while watching the movie. Brilliant!

*Loiter your nearest mall. Suck up as much free air conditioning as you can. Sure, my kid may be the kid who bitch-slaps your kid in the toddler play area, but deal with it. The only other option is being outside, and that is not an option during this heat wave. So just smile and nod….smile and nod.

*Weather permitting, the nearest park can provide hours of fun for the kids, and some alone time for mom. As they run around completely exhausting themselves, you can be taking advantage of the citywide free Wi-Fi and catch up on emails, facebook or write a great blog (like I’m doing right now.) And due to the high unemployment rate nowadays, you may run into a hot dad or two, wearing yoga pants and a stained t-shirt like yourself. WINNING!

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    Remind em never to go to the library with you. In fact, if my small time librarian finds out I know you I will probably be banned.

  • In reply to Violet Hooks:

    Eh, you know I wouldn’t really let my kids do that, right? Right?

  • In reply to Violet Hooks:

    Funny how suburbanites view Chicagoans as "scurge". Yet, every day you take over our fun, beautiful city with monster strollers full of screaming, over-sugared, kids who have no manners as they are encouraged to misbehave in public.

    This is why I hate "free" days anywhere.

  • In reply to goofyjj:

    I never called Chicagoans “scurge”, please re-read. And parents that let their kids run around like monkeys on crack should be shot.

  • Funny how people take everything they read so LITERALLY! Chill out people.

  • In reply to ccboy:

    Thank you ccboy :)

  • can't we just go to these places without the kids? giggle. xo great blog. luv ya, girl.

  • In reply to Nicole Knepper:

    Love you, Nic :)

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