Mama’s got some rolling stones

Mama’s got some rolling stones

So on what should be another typical Monday night, I’m actually sitting at my desk, shaking in my boots and about to puke all over my Garrett’s popcorn.

Why, you ask?

Because Tuesday morning I’m having surgery, getting the ole’ gallbladder removed. I’ve only been in the hospital two times, to birth my children. After hours of blood, sweat and tears during one vaginal delivery with Little Woman and later an emergency c-section with Dude, I was able to take home two beautiful children as my reward, to raise as decent, responsible members of society. Hopefully with minimal time in prison or on the pole. Sigh. So far so good…

But this is different. This is the first time my doctor found something wrong and said ‘we need to operate.’ Crap. Figures, as soon as I turn 41, my body goes to shit. Apparently, gallstones are very common for women of my age (I hate that term), especially woman that have had children. In other words, my time has come.

I’m sorry, I’d like to review the contract because I don’t remember signing up for any of this shit.

So to say I’m ok with all of this would be a lie. To say I’m not worried would be a lie. To say that I haven’t already thought of every possible thing that could go wrong would be a lie. My defense mechanism is sarcasm, so I’ve been joking with my family and facebook friends that if I shall pass away during (highly unlikely) to not cry but hold a huge party in my honor, which would include an open bar, Portillios hot dogs, 80’s music and tasteless stories of my existence.  I know on the outside, I present myself as a tough broad with balls of steel and a snarky tongue. But I also know when to get over myself, lower my wall and expose some vulnerability, enough to admit…

I. Am. Scared.

So there ya go, it’s out there. I know I’m probably overreacting and expecting nothing but the worst scenario, but that’s where my brain is. For now. If anything, this is going to give me some cool blog material to write about in the future. See you on the flip side!

Filed under: Uncategorized

Tags: dying, fears, gallbladder, surgery

Comments

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  • Perfectly natural to be scared, you're going to be just fine. Check back in when you can to let us know you're doing okay. You'll be fine.

  • In reply to Jimmy Greenfield:

    Thanks Jimmy. I’m sure I’ll be on the computer a lot during recovery. Hey, this is the perfect excuse to crank out a few blogs!

  • Oh you will be fine :-) My doctor tried to scare me with that before, luckily for me it did not need to be removed.

  • In reply to Brandi Wall:

    Thanks Brandi, everything went better than I expected, despite my worst fears. The anticipation is enough to drive you bonkers!

  • Will be thinking good thoughts for you! I was very scared before my surgery 2 weeks ago and it turned out better than I anticipated (although I'm still apologizing for stress/fear-induced poor behavior and excess sarcasm inflicted upon my immediate family) :) Hang in there!

  • In reply to Shannan Younger:

    Thanks Shannan, glad to hear yours went well. And I hear ya about driving my family crazy with conversations that started “so if I die during surgery......” Apparently I’m meant to stay on this Earth a bit longer to terrorize them. MUWAHAHAHAHA!

  • Hope you're recovering well, Tara!

  • In reply to Shannan Younger:

    Thanks Shannan, two weeks later and I’m feeling much better, back to my old schnanagins :)

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