Last night I was thinking about rape victims as I was getting ready to shop for groceries at 8pm. Typically I shop late at night because there are less people to deal with and you can usually find the stock guys loading up the junk food you so crave at midnight. After thinking about the attacks that have been going on around the city I have decided that midnight is not a safe hour for me to shop, especially after seeing a drunk guy stumbling around, drop his glass bottle of milk that shattered all over the floor, and then get escorted out. Another reason I opted to shop earlier, I do not want to become another statistic in the city on sexual assaults.
Last night as I got dressed in street clothes, I was in grubs all weekend cleaning, and started to think about a very important item when it comes to rape. Why is the victim made out to be the bad person? I’m sure you are thinking, she is crazy, we never consider them the bad person in this case. Well hear me out and you will see why.
Think about these questions and then ask yourself if you judge the victim first.
What was she wearing?
How much did she have to drink?
Did she take any drugs?
Was she flirting with him?
Did she invite him to come home with her?
Did she say yes and then say no when she was half naked?
Is she lying?
If a condom was used does that still mean it was rape?
Was she asking for it?
Never do we stop and think to console the victim first. Instead we attack her with a borage of questions to get to the truth instead of taking her for her word. We make her the criminal before we make her the victim.
After she is attacked she is questioned, taken to the hospital and given an exam. We violate her mind and her body all over again and make her relive her attack over and over and over until finally she cracks. Never once do we think this victim should have a family member with her, a friend, a love one of some sort that could comfort her as she goes through this horrendous reenactment in her mind.
Sometimes the victim has a caring cop that sympathizes with the victim, but on the outside has this hard coating that has to get to the truth. I understand that they have to ask these questions, make them relive the crime, and then come to a conclusion and find the perp. I understand that the victim has to go through certain steps in order for law enforcement agencies to do their job, but it seems like the victims are on the stand before they even find the guy and it feels cruel.
Many rapes go unreported because there is the stigma attached to a woman that has been a victim of rape. In many cultures she is seen as unclean, undesirable, that she brought this upon herself by the way she was dressed.
It has gotten so bad that countries have banned short skirts because they feel this is what provokes rape. Examples of such countries are:
Swaziland – Banned mini-skirts or crop tops because they provoke rapist. This law was first implemented in 1889 in the African kingdom. Wow, going back to the colonial times! Sorry, but rape in Africa goes beyond the way a woman is dressed. Ask those in the war torn areas of Kenya, Niger, Nigeria, the Congo, Sudan, Tansania, Angola and Botswana where warlords have raped women for decades.
India – Some schools banned short dresses, shirts, and jeans from students under 19 to protect women from harassment from the men.
UK HSE – The HSE (Health Survey of Executive) has a fashion crime list that includes everything from short skirts, backless tops, plunging necklines to artificial nails, nail polish, nail jewelry and even exposed tattoos. Showing too much skin would result in disciplinary proceedings and ultimately dismissal.
Indonesia – They are considering a ban on short skirts (anything above the knees) as a follow-up to the anti-porn task force. So I take it short skirts somehow mean porn in this country? “The task force is currently discussing measures to tackle pornography, including a probable need to tell women how to dress.” Another article says Indonesia is banning mini-skirts “because they make men do things.” Sorry but since when does the way a woman dress make men do things?
United States – Cheerleading uniforms have come under the microscope for being too revealing for school. "They're now banning it like it's something inappropriate or pornographic. If you're going to allow them to wear them to the game, then why not allow them to wear them to school?" Sorry, but have you seen some of the professional cheerleaders and what they wear? They are far worse than high school cheerleaders. Just look at some of the outfits the NFL cheerleaders wear. I am sure if they put a ban on them you would have a large number of male viewers in an uproar.
United Kingdom – In 2011, UK schools banned skirts because they were “distracting” and went to wearing trousers only. I wore skirts throughout high school and never once was I distracting to the boys in school. The distracting thing to the boys was a particular math teacher that would spread her legs so the guys could see if she was wearing panties or not as she sat on the desk top.
India – Due to a model, Poonam Pandey, worshipers of Ganpati are banned from wearing shorts when entering the pandal for darshan. I would like to see the catholic church try and do this when all of their churches are pretty much air conditioning free zones. Sorry father, but I will be wearing shorts to church if I were a practicing catholic and attending church this past summer when the heat waves hit dam near 113 degrees.
Today I am wearing a cleavage showing dress that comes above my knees with 5 inch heels. This would probably be against the law in many countries, except that I have a cami-like sports bra underneath and a cardigan over the top. So am I to assume I am making myself a prime target to be raped? Seems like it would be in many of the above countries!
As I do my research I realized that rape has been around for ages. Women of the Victorian period, where ankles were not even shown, were raped. Women of the dark ages were raped and they were fully clothed. It is even said that Anne Boleyn was raped by Henry the VIII in some historical books and she was very modest. You cannot tell me that what a woman wears determines a man’s mindset to rape or not. This is just an excuse that political figure heads take to make the women the criminal and men the victims of circumstance.
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