October 4, 3017! The Official Las Vegas Mourning Period Ends!!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell LV announced today that the official mourning period for the Las Vegas mass slaughter had come to its official end at midnight on the evening of October 4, 3017. "We feel that a thousand years of weeping and gnashing of teeh is the appropriate amount of mourning for a tragedy of such magnitude!". Senator McConnell also emphatically stated that there would be NO Senate hearings considering ANY limitation on disruptor beam weaponry, which to date has caused over one hundred million fatalities. "The Sacred Second Amendment gives each and every American citizen the right to keep and bear arms.", Senator McConnell stated, just as he ducked out of the way of a shot from a disruptor beam cannon, fired by a disgruntled constituent.

Ah yes, conservatives are upset. I know. It's hard to tell because conservatives are ALWAYS upset about something or other. Naturally, they're angry with LIBERALS. Yes, once again liberals demonstrated their total lack of sensitivity by indicating that perhaps THIS time it would be appropriate to discuss sensible gun control rather that enter into yet another extended period of deep and generally insincere mourning, as we did after the Orlando Massacre, the San Bernardino Massaacre, and the Sandy Hook Massacre.

Of course, conservatives know full well why liberals want to attend to the business of doing SOMETHING about these mass murders rather than simply expressing concern and offering condolences. Liberals are quite aware that they could mourn for a thousand years or MORE before their conservative colleagues got around to doing ANYTHING about the wanton slaughter on our streets. Some conservative talking head somewhere would quote the late Charlton Heston about prying his gun from his dead, cold hand, and of course, an NRA mouthpiece would recite the by now totally familiar platitude, "guns don't kill people, people kill people.", all this in an attempt to demonstrate the total futility of ANY gun control legislation.

But the REAL motive for gun control inaction is FEAR. Politicians from BOTH political parties quake in their boots every time the National Rifle Association decides to make THEM the target of its wrath and indignation. There is this gut level desperation to hold onto power. And virtually EVERY politician succumbs to it at one time or another. Fear has kept our political leaders from doing the job they were elected to do for generations. All it takes are a few hostile questions at a town hall meeting or an angry tweet from the President of the United States and the next sight you see is a politician retreating back into his or her comfortable little rat hole.

I'm not a gun abolitionist. I personally don't understand the gun culture at all. But SOME people enjoy trying to wipe animal life off the face of the earth. Others like to test their mettle with a demonstration of keen marksmanship. And, let's face it, there are SOME bozos out there who just like to shoot things into teeny tiny pieces. But, you know, I'd be willing to bet that most hunters don't need AK-47s with one hundred round barrels of ammunition to bring down quail, rabbit, squirrel or possum. And I'm absolutely positive that true hunters don't go into the forest trying to bag a deer with a machine gun.

But, when all is said and done, it really doesn't matter much, does it? The NRA will continue to flex its political muscle, thus turning our political leaders into so many marionettes, dancing to any tune it chooses to play, no matter HOW many are killed or how long we decide to mourn them!

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