Where else but Chicago?
With the possible exception of Block 37, never has there been such confusion and discussion and argument over what to place on the small piece of real estate we usually call our windshield.
The idea of kids designing the little patch of revenue for the city is kind of stupid. After all, most of them are not yet driving so they do not have to look at the ugly little square day in and day out squatting in the lower coner of your car or truck.
I have the solution. Yes. I thought it up while stuck in traffic the other day on the Kennedy. I had nothing else to do but gaze over my private, fossil-fuel burning sanctuary and think: Why can't I have the sticker I want? It's my car, more or less. More if I own it and less if I'm paying a note. Either way, I am the one spending the most time strapped into it, not talking on my cellphone.
This is my place. My space.
Attention,Clerk Susana Mendoza, I want to design the artwork for my own space. I want to commission the design. I don't want a teenager who has never paid for a sticker doing pie-in-the-sky with my little revenue patch.
The technology exists for me to do this. Hell, entire books now are printed on demand. So...whilst sitting in traffic and again not talking on my cell, I can think of designs for many years out, and simply pick the one that inspires me at the moment and upload it to the whirring servers hidden deep in the city hall bunker. The sticker gets printed and delivered First Class mail to my house.
If I want to put a famous Chicagoan on it, I can. How about Bozo? I can put Bozo on my sticker, if I want. But I don't want. Clowns, like their distant cousin Santa Clause, are creepy.
What if I want a gang reference on my revenue patch? How about a gang member --Al Capone? Old Scarface right there staring back at me, cigar in mouth.
Maybe I want Ron Santo? Ernie Banks? Or, to remind me of the constant screw-ups in Chicago politics, the ever infamous, Bartman.
Who knows, I may put a black hole on my revenue patch. Some artist somewhere might consider that a metaphor for what happens to city revenue.
Maybe I would have the side facing me lined with shiny foil so I could be reminded who is paying for this mess. Then I could smile at myself, whilst not talking on my cellphone.
Anybody else got any suggestions?
It is your revenue patch. It goes on your space.