"We believe that we are immersed in mystery, that our lives are more than they seem, that we belong to each other and to a universe of great creative energies whose source and destiny is God..."
This is part of a prayer by a Theologian named Jack Shea, and from the very first time I heard it I knew - word-for-word - that it was true.
I DO believe that our lives are more than what we see day-to-day; that each person was put into this world for a meaningful purpose and that we are surrounded by power and energies our brains are not perceptive enough to synthesize - but maybe our souls are.
In the midst of the ordinariness of life - I think there is more than what we see. Because I feel it.
I felt this most keenly as a kid and teenager, and it I'm not sure why I cared so much about the meaning of life at 15.
Maybe it was because I had more time on my hands with less to do than any other time of my life, so I could listen to hours of my favorite music as much as I wanted and ponder all of this, and try to find out who I was.
Maybe it was because I knew life was fleeting, since my parents died so young, and if I was going to figure out this thing called life, I better do it quick.
Whatever the reason, my soul has always thirsted for more. And as I age, I look to experience "the more" every day.
I've said before that I am a Christian - a Catholic. I have had my fights with faith and God, but always dutifully and loyally return - because my heart is there and it cannot survive without the connection to faith.
I am open to other points of view on religion and existence and always seek out to understand these and learn more. It just feels right for me to do so.
When faced with a terrible health crisis a few years ago, I turned to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, a friend who was a Reiki Master for wonderful healing and I read "10% Happier." Faith, Mystery and the Practical. That is me.
Maybe it is "the mystical" element that also makes appreciate the "magic" of Halloween, the beauty of the moon in all its stages but especially full, sunrises and sunsets, and the delicate light that is twilight, to name a few of the natural beauties I feel drawn to.
It's easy to see majesty in things like mountains, the ocean and endless sky. I love these and more. But the former natural joys I mentioned are ones we can see and be transformed by daily if we just look. Their ordinariness is what makes them extraordinary to me. These daily treasures are whispers of what makes our lives more than they seem. They are transcendental, if only we are open to them.
And yet, I don't consider myself superstitious - I'm not "that mystical." I don't believe in newspaper horoscopes or the like. These seem too forced to be truly mystical to me.
That's why when I started seeing "1111" and "1234" a few years ago the "Angel Numbers" - at random times when I wasn't looking for these numbers - that I began to wonder what was happening. It was too frequent and in too many circumstances to be coincidental.
I definitely see these numbers on clocks - in my home, on my cell phone, in my car, at work on my computer. Their appearances come in random clusters then sometimes they are not seen for weeks.
I've noticed them not only on clocks but in random addresses of places I was going, restaurant tabs totals for my meals, work reports, hospital room numbers, license plates I was seeing, payment receipts, etc., that it began to feel really weird that I was seeing them so much.
Both number sets are considered positive numbers with enlightenment and vibration that are sent from the angels, the universe and God himself and indicate clarity of thought, positive change, intuition, the presence of holy guiding forces, achievement of dreams and more.
Am I looking for inspiration, for positive change, for proof our lives are "more than they seem"? You bet. But I don't really "look" for these numbers. I wasn't thinking about them at all when they started showing up in my life. I don't look for them now, either - they seem to find me.
Some of you may shake your head at how silly my thinking is. Maybe it is.
Both of my kids certainly do! When I obnoxiously send them screenshots of the time when "Angel Numbers" are appearing or random spots I see the "Angel Numbers" I get the big eye roll. Not only in person. Like I can even "feel" the big eye roll I'm getting even when my daughter is two states away and I'm sending her these pics.
Yes, I send pics of the numbers, the full moon and other images I snap to tell them I still see beauty everywhere. And I admit I do it to a certain extent to annoy them - after all, one of the greatest joys of motherhood for me is get back at my kids for any hassle they have ever given me by being ever so slightly annoying to them.
Then again, even though we talk often and about deeply meaningful things, neither has ever told me they question the purpose of their existence like I was doing at their ages. Perhaps they simply just "don't get" why I so want to be in touch with the idea that our lives are more than they seem. Or maybe they feel more than they will verbalize to me. Teens - they can be a mystery too!
While they have yet to point out Angel Numbers to me, each of them has quietly asked me to come outside to see the beautiful full moon, or a sunset or other pretty little natural joys that would be easy to overlook.
Perhaps the "Angel Numbers" appear to me not to tell me of a future prosperity or change, or to remind me that my life and existence are bigger than the day-to-day.
Perhaps the numbers appear to remind me that because I am a mother, two beings have passed into this world through me and their mere presence here is a mystery beyond my comprehension. That indeed, even though they came into the world essentially like any other teen they know, our lives ARE more than we seem, and we belong to each other due to this bond - and it's a miracle. I know that I feel this when I watch them go about their days, when they sleep, whey they laugh, when they are in awe of something.
A beautiful, extravagant, mystical, ordinary miracle to be alive, in this world, and related to each other.
P.S. I have been meaning to write about Angel Numbers for almost two years. I don't think this post is close to being what I feel I want to say - but it is something. And I wanted to write it on this most mystical of dates - 11/11.
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