"Like black coffee, a negative comment is very strong. You need lots of sugar to cut the bitterness and make it sweet. You need lots of positive reinforcement to balance out the bitterness in what you say."
Excerpt from "Raising Hell or Raise Them Well"
Chap. 6: Raise Discipline to an Effective Level
Parent Point: Catch Them Doing Good (Positive Reinforcement)
Under-served Families are in a state of emergency. Violence reeks havoc in our communities. Past hurts reek havoc in our minds. As a parent, these negative influences effect how we raise our children. I chose this quote because, we are often searching for the negatives especially with our kids. Our tone of voice, the words we spit out, does damage to the people we love. As they grow older, they become like us.
I use to be that way with my kids - not every day, but sometimes I caught myself looking for the negatives in my kids behavior and speaking to that, than finding the good they do, and praising them for THAT. All of us parents do it - to our kids, other loved ones, even to ourselves. I was filled with negative self-talk about myself. And I let it spill out onto my sons.
But I say, catch your kids doing good and praise them for it. Catch yourself doing good and praise yourself for it. It is a daily struggle for me. But it is a struggle that I'm determined to overcome for myself and for my kids.
My book, Raising Hell or Raise Them Well. Talks about this struggle and other things such as self-love, meaningful connections, communication, commitment, character building, discipline, school involvement and safety. I pray my guide gets the attention it deserves because I KNOW it will help other parents - I know this. I will speak it, I will believe it and it will be done.
"Raising Hell or Raise Them Well" debuts in December. Visit my website for more details and a special offer.
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