Endia Martin tragedy: A letter to girls who'd fight (or kill) over a boy

Endia Martin tragedy: A letter to girls who'd fight (or kill) over a boy

My Dear Young Sisters,

I sit here at a loss for words regarding the shooting death of 14 year-old Endia Martin (full shot) by her supposedly friend of the same age (whose name is being withheld), over a poot-butt 17 year-old boy. I'm just speechless... sad, hurt and very angry. I bet you are too. I'm sure I'm not  alone when I say a boy (especially this one)  is not worth killing for.

Ladies, wouldn't you agree that the girl who allegedly pulled the trigger took it way too far? A boy just isn't worth ending a life. A boy isn't worth throwing fists over either. But there are many of you that have fought over a boy.  Are you so desperate that you would lose your sense of self worth by stooping that low? You are so much better than that, ladies. As vocalist Jill Scott sings, "Queens don't swing, if you know what I mean."

Regarding the young brothers: Would they fight over girls or allow girls to fight over them? Maybe that's a dumb question. For a few, this act of insanity might be a big ego boost. I've witnessed boys watch with enjoyment as two girls duke it out over them. They thought these girls were nothing but silly bitches and hoes.

Regarding the killing incident, The girl who allegedly shot Endia will more than likely waste away in a jail cell for most if not all of her life, and "Loverboy" will serve time because he allegedly tried to dispose of the gun; Not to mention the irresponsible bone head adults in this unfortunate scenario who supplied the gun. Stupid is as Stupid does.

My response to those who will throw down to win a boy  is simply this: When you are about to get caught up in a funky "love" situation, just stop for a minute. STOP. Think about what you're about to say or do, think it through. Breath. Simmer down and think about what will be the results of your next move. What will be the consequences? Think about it step by step by step. How far do you think it will go? Think about how your keeping it real could go wrong. What will be the outcome? What would that look like?

That's what smart people do. They don't allow their emotions to get the better of them. people who think things through are in control. They don't let others persuade them to do foolish things. Smart people have their own minds. And when they are faced with a difficult situation, their "Spidey senses" kick in, they freeze for a moment and think things through.

None of the people involved in the killing took the time to think things through. If that girl that allegedly pulled the trigger had done that, a life would not have been lost and her life ruined. When you lose control, you lose your power. No boy, no girl, noBODY is worth that kind of pain and suffering. Nobody.

My young people, don't get so wrapped up in love relationships. Love will come and go. You've got the rest of your life to get into that. Put that energy into your schoolwork.  Redirect your energy toward sports or other activities that will propel you to greatness. Love don't love nobody. So place your energies into loving yourself.  It ain't that serious, Ladies. Really. Been there, done that. Take time to Stop. Breath. And think... things... through.

With all my love and respect,

Ms. Edye

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    I pursued a satisfying career in the advertising industry, served as a volunteer mentor and parent educator at my two (now grown up) sons' schools and have actually stayed happily married for over a quarter of a century. However, my most gratifying achievement was raising my sons well. I'm not saying there wasn't a little bit of hell raising going on, but you live and learn. Now I'm passing the knowledge on to you. My goal is to turn these nuggets of wisdom into reference books for parents.

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    Check out my other blogs: "Trending Over 40", An informational blog for those over 40 who find themselves social-media challenged, http://trendingover40.com "Black Copy" Reflections of a veteran ad chick, http://eldhughes.wordpress.com. You can find samples of my ad work on this site. Simply click on TV and Print tabs. Also check out my company, Hughes Who Productions http://hugheswhoproductions.com. We develop games and animation for casinos, marketers and educational institutions. Thank you for your interest. Blessings... Edye
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