Quilt Maladies

You've heard of Tennis Elbow, yes? How about writer's cramp or runner's knee? These are injuries and aches named after a specific activity and I ask you, where are the quilt maladies?

We toil and sweat with needles and pins. We wrestle bolts of fabric, cut and fold. Ladies, we are putting our lives on the line and yet is there a single medical condition named after us?

No, there is not. Until today. Today a new chapter begins melding what we suffer and the health community. Finally, we are about to get the medical version of immortality, we are having a condition bear our name.

Here are my suggestions for our possible contribution to medical jargon.a maladie

1. Needle finger - a finger sore from having been stuck with a needle.

2. Pedal paw - a tenderness in the foot from having pressed on the sewing machine pedal for hours.

3. Rotary slice - a section of skin or tissue removed by an over zealous rotary cutter.

4. Quilter's squint - the face we make when threading a needle.

5. Guild guilt - the vaguely uncomfortable realization that you're not quite pulling your weight in your guild.

6. Quilt envy - Lusting after a quilt not made nor owned by you.

7. Stitch syndrome - Just one more stitch being repeated endlessly.

8. Ripper remorse - The feeling one gets after carrying out stitch syndrome in the wrong direction.

9. Patchwork panic - Realizing you are never going to finish that quilt in time.

10. Quilter's block - Not being able to choose just the right fabric.

11. Fabric frenzy - Buying multiple yards of fabric you don't really need and aren't ultimately what you want.

12. Long arm anxiety - Worry that the bottom tension is acting up again.a quilt malady

13. Thimble therapy - Switching from hand sewing to machine.

14. Measurement remorse - Realizing you didn't measure correctly and your piece is lacking in either width or length.

15. Thread ball - The threads you collect off your body and roll into one unit.

16. Quilter's bottom - The expansion of the area of your body where you sit and sew.

17. Sew what - How you feel about quilter's bottom.

These are just scratching the surface. I know I have forgotten major quilt maladies. Let me know what to add!

Sew happy!

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If you chuckled at this you might smile reading this post as well.

Filed under: humor

Tags: quilt maladies

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    Kathy Mathews

    My passions are quilting and sewing. Add to that French, Spanish, books, swimming, travels, new restaurants, biking and chocolate and you have me. All of these are best shared with family and friends. Except for chocolate, I prefer not to share that.

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