Advice to New Graduates: Be Careful choosing your Child's other parent

Here at ChicagoNow many of us are publishing a blog post of advice to new graduates throughout the month of May. I've gone on record as being skeptical of free advice. But you know I'm going to give some, right?

You'll make some terrific choices, probably because of our blog posts. I loved being a teacher, moving to Frankfort and getting remarried. Those were some stellar decisions.

However, I've made plenty of dumb moves since I graduated and new graduate, you will too. Oh well, stuff happens, you'll learn from it and move on. I think you can come back from most errors.

Financial woes? You'll just have to suffer and come back from it. I have. It was painful but it's over now.

Problems in school? I've had friends and relative do this, it all worked out. Junior colleges can help. You can have a do over.

Don't like your job? Join the club. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right one. I taught at three different schools in my career.

House or car was a bad choice? You can always sell it, you might lose some money but you can sell it. (See financial woes.)

Sick of your friends? You can make new ones or take a closer look at why you chose them.

Mess up with your family? Aw, they love you. Show your love, ask for forgiveness. They'll take you back.

But of all the mistakes that you can make, the one you cannot do over, sell or study harder next time is who the other parent is of your child.careful That's a long time decision. That person will influence your kid, the person you love the most in the whole world.

My advice therefore is as follows. Be careful choosing your child's other parent.

When your child goes to school, this person's attitude about education will weigh in. When your children make decisions about religion or dating, there will be this person's voice in their head as well.

This other person's examples will be there for your precious child to see and possibly emulate. The love and attention this person shows or doesn't show will impact on your offspring.,

So choose very carefully. Don't call it making love, call it making babies because that's what you could be doing.

Is this person the other parent you want in your child's life?

If you're not real pleased with the choice, as I was not, you will have a tougher path to follow and so will your little person. You may be a single parent, or wish you were. I had to struggle to be the bad cop and the good cop, to make up for what another did wrong.

It all worked out for me and the second time around, I got a simply perfect step dad for my girls.

Good luck graduate! Try to think about what I said. Just give it some consideration.

Oh and maybe you could become a quilter? Now that choice has made my life sew happy!

Want to learn about quilting and sewing? Check out my Facebook page. Like the page and join the conversation! If you want to keep reading my blog, you can subscribe. To do so, type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. That's all, you're done. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Here's the post I did for Mother's day with more advice!

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    Kathy Mathews

    My passions are quilting and sewing. Add to that French, Spanish, books, swimming, travels, new restaurants, yoga and chocolate and you have me. All of these are best shared with family and friends. Except for chocolate, don't touch my chocolate. You can email me at

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