O.J. Simpson wants a new trial, freedom and life. Instead of spending time and money on lawyers, I suggest he join one of the Prison Quilting programs. O.J. Simpson should quilt for the following reasons:
- He is obviously good with his hands and could now be threading a needle for real instead of on the field.
- He would quiet his mind and relieve stress by quilting.
- He would rebrand himself in a completely new way.
- He could give back by making quilts for foster children, the elderly or the Linus project.
- He could replace Rosie Greer as the most well known former player who stitches.
- He could provide the late night comedians new material for lots of jokes.
- He could make quilts for his kids and finally do something good for them.
- He could pass the time and think about someone besides himself.
- He could do some good.
- He could finally stop being an embarrassment to himself and his family and do some meaningful work.
If there isn't a program in his prison, he could start one, the Coffee Creek Quilters tell you exactly how to do it here.
I know this sounds funny but I am dead serious, O.J. (Pun intended.) You could seriously become a new person. Contact me, I will help you put this idea into motion. You know it is better than any ideas you've had lately.
You too, O.J., could sew happy.
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