NPH and the 2015 Vanilla Oscars

Let's start with honesty.  I honestly did not see many of the Oscar nominated films this year.  I also read that this year's nominated films earned the least amount at the box office than any other crop of hopefuls EVER.  Why you might wonder?  I think it's because these little gems (Whiplash, Boyhood etc) don't get the marketing budget that a superhero or testosterone-filled sequel receives.  Let's compare the dollars spent on Captain America: Winter Something to Whiplash... apples to oranges.   But enough about the silly ways the studio heads spend the studios' money.  Let's talk about the show, and how it seemed kinda long and fairly predictable.

First, I liked the stage design of the opening act.  It looked fancy and shiny, just like the people in the audience.  NPH (Neil Patrick Harris as he'll be referred to in this blog) opened with a great first line,"Tonight we celebrate Hollywood’s best and whitest, sorry… brightest."  Yes, thank you for the shameful reminder of the the lack of minority nominees.  This was the first of NPH's running commentary on people that got screwed (when he introduced presenters Jennifer Aniston and David Oyelowo he reinforced that they really deserved to be there, WE GET IT NPH, you feel that some people were snubbed!)
Loved JK Simmons acceptance speech, he didn't stop to thank one agent, publicist, manager, lawyer.  Just his wife and kids.   And reminded us to call our parents (I didn't, but I will later).

Stupid "Please keep an eye on my briefcase" bit.  Just stupid.  NPH was reaching last night... a lot.

When my sweetie saw Jennifer Lopez walk onstage he piped up and asked "Is she wearing a top?" My question was, "Why is she there tonight?" "And how did she end up sitting next to Meryl?"  I don't recall "The Boy Next Door" doing that well....

Another nominee that I saw in the crowd and thought to myself, I'll never see her movie, was French actress Marion Cotillard.  I told my Sweetie that she has one of the most classically beautiful faces, he said she's the poor man's Emily Blunt.  I don't see it.  Do you?

Image result for marion cotillard oscars 2015Image result for Emily Blunt

I watch football with my sweetie and he's so patient as he explains the rules and meaning behind each call.  Last night I asked him why they call it a "Live Action" Short Film and he yelled at me and said the other Short Films are ANIMATED, Duh.  (I'm boycotting the Bears next season).

G. Paltrow pulled a Julia Roberts last night when she introduced "her friend" Tim McGraw.  She's an interloper to the tenth degree.

Back to Jennifer Aniston.  She looked amazing, as usual. And as usual, she made me wish I too could be Greek and tan like that wear so I could wear that gorgeous champagne colored dress (I would look like a skin tab if I showed up in that color)   Did she really just turn 46?  

My other favorite dress was worn by Scar-Jo.  I love green.  I love her.  I love her for shaving the sides of her hair.  I love her for having the composure not to freak out when John Travolta manhandled her on the red carpet.  I couldn't have handled it that smoothly.

Image result for scarlett johansson Oscars 2015

Overall, predictable winners.  Disappointingly bland NPH.  The British are coming, well they're here and they're winning.  Better luck next year America!

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