For Lexophiles(or Lexiphiles) Only: Ten Original Contributions

(Many Thanks to Dennis Byrne whose post "For Lexophiles Only" was the prompt for the following.)

 

1, When the police turned the screws on the book thief,  he began to speak volumes.

2. The horse whisperer was ordered off the ranch.  His services were  not allowed.

3. A wife accused her husband of having a roving eye. It seems he frequented burlesque shows where the women were  continually taking off.

4.  A movie Marcel Marceau never spoke about ?  "Moon Over Mime, Ami".

5. What do you call an aviator who pulls  out  an assault weapon half-way to his destination?  A semi-automatic pilot.

6.. The Vegan AA: Animal-eaters Anonymous.

7. Proof  Robin Hood must have been rather small:  He had a little john.

8. He renewed his magazine subscription. Time and Time again.

9. One difference between an architect and an optician is that  one uses specs to build  while the other builds specs to use.

10. When the estranged couple told the marriage counselor they had  traded insults on Twitter, he suggested they see a social mediator.

 

Filed under: humor, words

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  • 9 is wrong, in that all the architect does is build specs. That's about the same as saying that some clerk at CTA procurement builds L cars and buses. Also, the other guy is usually an optician.

    2. The Ranch is probably too high cal.

    8. Did Cindy Lauper do something similar?

  • In reply to jack:

    Thanks, Jack, for your trenchant editorial suggestion. "One uses specs to build" is meant to be interpreted in an indirect sense. "Optician" of course, is the correct job title.

    Your glosses on 2 and 8 are especially amusing.

    I look forward, Jack, to your future addenda to my posts. Your visits are always a breath of fresh air: informative and entertaining.

    BTW, I emended #9.

  • Super! However, as for a movie Marcel Marceau never spoke about, wouldn't that be all of them?

  • In reply to Margaret H. Laing:

    That has been discussed here before. Apparently few remember Mel Brooks Silent Movie.

  • In reply to jack:

    Whoops, now I remember that one -- Marceau was the only one who spoke in it! (I stand by never speaking ABOUT it, though!)

  • In reply to Margaret H. Laing:

    If one wants to get technical, Bip (the character) only spoke once (that is if it was Bip in Silent Movie). Whatever Marcel Marceau said about anything isn't known, because, as Mel Funn said "I don't speak French."

    Bip, of course, generally did use sign language, or his act really would have been boring.

  • In reply to Margaret H. Laing:

    Your logic is impeccable. Although might he have used sign language?

  • OK, gentlemen, I give in. I have seen only clips of "Silent Movie" so far. I bow to your superior experience!

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