What a Man Can Learn While Waiting for His Mother-in-law

man in waitingroom from hospital or doctor Stock Photo - 1745322


I was sitting today in the waiting room of one of those off-campus medical buildings  every hospital seems to have. My  mother-in-law was in for some blood work. It wasn't going to be long.

There were so  few people in the vicinity to attract  attention that I reflexively looked around for some magazine to kill time.

I ruled out one with a very pregnant woman on the cover.  And I also declined to reach for "Glamour".  At 10 in  the morning,  who feels glamorous?

That left "Good Housekeeping".  Why not? I figured there's got to be pictures of spring flowers or maybe a few  exotic  scenes of some vacation isle. Some place  to get away. From know... HOUSEKEEPING.

I barely had the magazine a few minutes in my hands  when my mother-in-law reappeared ready to go.  But in those few minutes I read something that made my day.

For those who don't read "Good Housekeeping", there's a special department called 'You Said It!'  Subtitle: 'What GH readers are doing and sharing now'.  What caught my eye was  a black and white  photo---apparently affixed to the page by a trompe l'oeil red stick pin---of Michelangelo's David with a green leaf covering you-know-what.

It was a reader's contribution entitled 'Adopt X-ray Vision'. And I quote:

"I pretend everyone's nude. It gives me that secret inner smile and twinkle."  I prefer to keep this imaginative  reader's  name confidential.  I wouldn't want her to find  out who I am.

There are things for my wife's eyes only.



Filed under: life in general, literature


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  • Maybe more relevant is this Grimm of about a week ago.

    The "pretend everyone is naked" is an old piece of advice to one making a public address. Also, I didn't think Michelangelo was in your neighborhood recently.

  • In reply to jack:

    Grimm reference is perfectly apropos.

    I've heard that advice too. But what do you do if you're addressing a nudist convention?

  • In reply to Aquinas wired:

    Heck if I know. In fact, a search indicates that while this is a common expression (which was my point, that the magazine writer was not original), the sources indicate that it is ineffective.

    The only reaction I have to your question is that you better hope that the male members of the audience have no more wood than David has stone.

  • Many Blood moons ago in college I lived down the hall from a girl who had hair like Botticelli's Venus. Her boyfriend looked just like Michelangelo's David, too!
    Sort of the opposite of X-Ray specs, those iconic images of Venus and David were available at one time as novelty refrigerator magnets. You could dress them in a variety of outfits--blue jeans and T-shirts, for example.

  • In reply to Weather Girl:

    I imagine their offspring would have looked like Raphael's cherubs.

  • Jan. 11 1974, Mike Brady tells his daughter Jan to imagine the audience in their underwear during her high school debate to quell her nerves.

  • In reply to 4zen:

    So that's why the debate turned out to be brief.

  • In reply to 4zen:

    Of course, there were the rest of us with regard to Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

  • Although I am late to this fest,
    I must get something off my chest.
    Now don't get too curious, I am MargaretSerious --
    I just thought a rhyme would be best!

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