Born today was P.T. Barnum.
His Circus gave him fame and stardom.
With Jenny Lind and Tom Thumb in it,
'Twas fun for the sucker born every minute.*
*There is a sucker born every minute Each time the second hand sweeps to the top Like dandelions up they pop, Their ears so big, their eyes so wide. And though I feed ‘em bonafide baloney With no truth in it Why you can bet I’ll find some rube to buy my corn. ‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute, And I’m referrin’ to the minute you were born.
Each blessed hour brings sixty of ‘em Each time the wooden cuckoo shows his face Another sucker takes his place, And plunks his quarter on the line To buy my brand of genuine malarkey. God bless and love ‘em! But don’t feel sad or hoppin’ mad or cause a scene ‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute, But Ma’am you mighta been the minute in between.
If I allow that right here in my hands The smallest living human man The sight of that is surely worth a dime If I present an educated pooch Who’s trained to dance the hoochie cooch What better way to waste a bit of time If I imported monumental cost A lady, fair, who’s head was lost While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias Who eats farina through a hose And wares pink tights instead of clothes If that ain’t worth a buck my name ain’t Phineas
Aw you say that’s hog wash well who cares You’ll buy my hog was long as
There’s a sucker born every minute Each time the second hand sweeps to the top Like dandelions up they pop, Their ears so big, their eyes so wide. And though my tale is bonafide baloney, Just let me spin it, And ain’t no man who can resist me wait and see ‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute, And friends the biggest one excluding none is me!
('','There Is A Sucker Born Every Minute') Send "There Is A Sucker Born Every Minute" [From the musical "Barnum" lyrics by Michael Stewart, music by Cy Coleman]
As Barnum once said:
1. "Every crowd has a silver lining."
2. "I don't care what you say about me, just spell my name right."
3. Opinions are like assholes; everyone's got one."
4. "Money is a terrible master, but an excellent servant."
5. "to the Egress"---a deceptive sign used to reduce crowding.