Are your hips too tight? Are you experiencing a shpilkes in your genechtagazoink?
You're not alone. Millions are suffering just like you. Tension and stress have wrapped around your midsection like an anaconda.
But if you're in reasonably good shape, there is a way to correct the problem without popping a single pill: Yoga.
No, I didn't say Olga, the masseuse. Yoga. As in Webster's Dictionary: a system of exercises for attaining bodily and mental control and well-being.
For opening tight hips, the yoga exercise to do is called eka pada rajakapotasana. As an added bonus, if you can repeat its name a few dozen times, it will also open your pharyngeal cavity.
This yoga exercise is more commonly known as the 'pigeon pose'. Which may explain why pigeons walk the way they do.
It's really very simple, especially if you're very supple.
Find a good mat to exercise on. Dress appropriately. No tight blue jeans. Your hips are tight enough, OK?
Get down on your hands and knees[the table position]. Cross your left foot under to touch your right hand. Stretch your right leg as far back as you can. At this point you should feel your right cheek muscle (the glute) getting a bit taut. Make sure your hips are square to the front of the mat. Or whatever sight line that appears parallel to your hips.
Feel free to modify the position of your left foot in the event your body insists that you do.
Lower the front of your body as close to the floor as possible. Take a deep breath. Count to ten and then exhale. Repeat the breathing until you blackout.
You may wind up in the emergency room. But your condition will not be life-threatening.
Back at the homefront, you will have a peace that passeth all understanding. And you will be amazed how good your open hips feel.